All my Fault
by HitsuKarinluv
Summary: Karin got too close to the edge and fell off a cliff. Luckily she didn't get hurt but her best friend and savior did. Toushirou is left with serious injuries after the fall and...well you'll have to read the story to find out
1. Scared for my Savior

**I was just siting here then BAM sad fanfic...I'm not really good at writing sad fanfics so it may be sucky and most likely will not be completely sad...so just bear with me. And also Karin is 17 in this story. **

I ran through the rain trying to find someone...Some one who could see me in my current state.

I was in my Soul Reaper form and so was the boy on my back so it was hard to find help...Especially when the only people outside were people who had close to no spiritual pressure.

Why? Why does stuff like this happen to me? Someone very close to me always gets hurt because of me.

First Ichi-nii had almost gotten killed by Ulquiorra to protect me and now...Now...I don't even know if he'll make it...I have to find someone and quick, otherwise Toushirou will bleed to death.

I continued running until it finally hit me, _guilt_. If Toushirou died it would be my fault...all because I wasn't careful.

I felt tears well up in my eyes and I lost my will to run. I looked around, nobody was even near me not one single human being.

I let the tears fall free, I closed my eyes and screamed. After I was done screaming I shouted out, "Help! Somebody, Anybody!"

I had finally lost it and I fell to my knees jarring Toushirou. He let out a small whimper, of course it wasn't smart to jar him around more than nessacary.

I'm sure he had multiple broken bones, his stomach had been cut by a tree branch, and he was bleeding from the head.

The cut on his stomach had started out small but I know that either my jarringly fast running or his struggle to get up at first had deepened it by a lot.

How do I know this? Blood...The back of my shihakusho was soaked in blood, I could feel it. It was soaked through both top layers and with every move I made it ran down my back. My hakama had been absorbing the blood that ran down my back, so it never made it to the ground it was all either stuck to me or Toushirou.

And the blood from his head was being absorbed by the shoulder part of my top.

I tried again with the shouts hoping maybe, _maybe_, someone would hear me, "Help! Somebody, Anybody!" You could tell in my voice that I was crying I sounded...broken, "Help me. Save him." I whispered

Why? Why did I have to stand so close to the edge of that damn cliff? Why did I have to fall? Why did he have to save me? If he dies I'll never see him again. Why couldn't he just let me fall? I still have the Soul Society to go to but he...he doesn't if he dies, he disappears.

"Karin? Why are you...What happened?" I snapped my head up to look at the person talking

I felt relief wash over me...It was Ichi-nii and behind him Rukia, Renji, and Rangiku were trying to catch up to him.

Of course though he didn't make a move to help Toushirou he just stared at me with questioning eyes. Waiting for a response.

But I couldn't, I couldn't speak I could hardly breathe with how dry my throat was...A warning that sobs would escape me if opened my mouth.

Great I finally find help and I can't speak...how useless am I?

But of course Ichigo couldn't see the blood anyway...all he could see was me with a passed out Toushirou on my back.

And he was probably wondering why I was carrying Toushirou...after all he didn't even know we knew each other.

The others caught up after what seemed like eternity and Rangiku immediately ran over to see what was wrong.

"Wh-Why is Captain unconscious? What happened Karin?" She was reaching out for Toushirou but she was looking straight at me.

I let out a breath of relief and my lower lip started trembling. I broke down crying actually letting them see the vulnerable side of me.

I couldn't stand to be this weak. My hands automactically came up up to my face, making Toushirou fall to the ground.

When he didn't make a sound I lost all hope. I swallowed, "I tried...I tried...And it wasn't good enough! He's going to die and it's all my fault!"

I saw Rangiku's eyes widen in suprise then she jumped for Toushirou shaking him, "Captain? Captain! What happened?"

I didn't answer the question I just shook my head, "It doesn't matter...Just save him, please."

Great now I'm pleading, Toushirou look what you did to me...Just open your eyes and look! _**PLEASE**_.

I heard Rangiku pick Toushirou up, which he responded to with a whimper. I almost smiled, he was still alive.

I managed to notice Renji and Rangiku flashstep away and after a few pleas from Rukia so did Ichigo.

But Rukia stayed she knelt in front of me, "Karin. He's not going to die, he's strong and stubborn, he'll fight as long as he can, and by then we'll have him healed...O.k?"

I looked up at her unsure, "But I had him on my back and I couldn't feel his breathing. And when I dropped him he didn't even make a sound, he's so close to dying."

Rukia frowned, "True, but it's not like he hasn't been this close before. When Aizen first betrayed us...We don't know why but Captain Hitsugaya was his main target. He wanted to make him suffer both physically and emotionally... Also we haven't told Ichigo about you being friends with Captain Hitsugaya. That's for you to do."

I nodded and stood up, Rukia stood up with me. I smiled feeling a lot more relieved, "Thanks Rukia but you can't stop me worrying about him. He's my best friend of course I'm going to worry. But I do feel a lot better knowing that he's got a good chance of surviving."

_My best friend. _It felt wrong to call him that, which was weird because that's what he is. So why did it feel like I was leaving something out when I called him that?

I've got a pretty good idea actually but I refuse to believe it. After all my brain comes up with a lot of crazy ideas. No, I refuse to believe it.

We went to my house knowing that's where the others went. Let me tell you one thing...I have never been so grateful that Hanataro existed. He happened to be in my house when they brought Toushirou in according to Renji.

But even after Toushirou was healed up he didn't wake up. Rangiku said he just needed time to recover the blood he lost but I wasn't so sure.

I stayed scared that he could die any second.

The next day was school, to say I was distracted would be an understatement, but I managed to do all of my school work and get through the day.

When I got home I asked if Toushirou had woken up. He hadn't. And yes Toushirou was in our house. He was in Ichigo's bed, Ichigo was currently sleeping on the couch.

The rest of the day was spent by Toushirou's side hoping he would wake up...but at the same time I didn't want him to wake up when I was there.

I don't know...but I think it would be pretty awkward for both of us. He would wake up to me staring at him and I wouldn't be able to find anything to say.

When I went to school the next day I was more distracted and found it hard to do my work. Is this how Toushirou felt when Momo was in a coma? Momo. Just what was she to him?

Toushirou didn't wake up that day either. But I still spent my afternoon by his side. Waiting.

The next day I began to think that Toushirou would never wake up. I didn't do my work at all but I made sure to look like I was.

Another afternoon waiting by his side with no answer.

In school the next day I was too scared for Toushirou to even look like I was doing my work. I just stared out the window longing to go home. To make sure that he was O.k. To make sure he was alive.

It took half the day for the teacher to notice I wasn't doing anything.

He walked over to me and tapped me on the head with a pencil, "Kurosaki. Would you please put whatever useless thoughts you're thinking in th..."

I stood up and punched him in the face. I felt tears surface to my eyes, "My best friend could die any second now and you're calling my thoughts useless? Well if me worrying about him is so useless to you then you obviously haven't lost anyone special to you! And you don't care about me or anyone do you? Well I'll tell you one thing right now! If you're so bothered by me not paying attention: If Toushirou dies you won't have to worry about me bothering you. You won't see me alive again if he dies. So just leave me alone!" I already lost Mom I don't want to lose Toushirou too. And I know going off on the teacher like that wasn't nessacary but I couldn't take it anymore.

The teacher recovered from the punch and looked at me, "I may not have had the right to call your thoughts useless. But hitting a teacher is a call for expulsion. And on top of that you insulted me. However since you had _such a good_ reason for hitting me I'll let you get off with suspension. Kurosaki Karin you are suspended for 1 week. Go tell the principal of my decision."

Everyone was staring at us. I broke the promise I made to myself at the beginning of highschool, I let them see me cry.

Yuzu hurried out of her seat in front of mine and hugged me. I looked down at her, "Yuzu let go."

Yuzu looked up at me, yes she's shorter than me, and said, "I'll let go when you stop blaming yourself."

I sighed, "Yuzu look. I blame the person responsible which just so happens to be me. So let go."

Yuzu made a 'hmmph' sound and let go. I started walking towards the door.

Just as I reached to open it I was stopped by a, I have to admit, handsome voice, "Karin!"

I turned around, it was Kei Kyo speaking, probably the shyest guy in the whole school. I do believe several girls try to get him to speak everyday. Until now I'd never heard him speak once.

I noticed his position, he was standing with both hands on his desk and was blushing like crazy, "Yes, Kei?"

He swallowed, "I may not know this Toushirou but would you tell him that I wish him luck? Both you and him."

I almost broke down in the middle of the classroom, "Sure thing..."

I must've looked like I was going to cry big time because everybody stood up and smiled sadly, "Us too."

I nodded fearing that if I tried to speak I would really break down. I never really thought anyone would care about me but it was obvious they were saying these things so I wouldn't cry. So I would go back to being normal old violent me.

I managed to smile before I opened the door and walked to the principal's office.

The principal just agreed and sent me home. I walked home thinking about what the others had said. But how was I supposed to tell him if he never wakes up.

I knew that even Rangiku had started to believe that he would never wake up and she was the most optimistic of us all.

When I got home Ichigo asked me, "What're you doing home, school's still going on."

I looked at my feet, "I got suspended."

I could just see him raise an eyebrow, "Really why?"

I sighed, "I punched the teacher in the face."

Ichigo chuckled, "How did you not get expelled?"

I looked back up at him, "I had a good reason...Oh! Has Toushirou woken up yet?"

The amusement died in in his voice and he slowly shook his head.

I looked down again, "Oh. Well if you need me you'll know where I'll be."

He nodded and I slowly walked up the steps and into Ichigo's room. I looked at Toushirou, if I didn't know any better I would say he was sleeping.

He was breathing evenly and he had one hand by the side of his face the other on his stomach.

If he had been awake he wouldn't be here he would be in the Soul Society, today was the day they had to go back.

I sighed, walked over to the bed, and knelt beside it. I reached out and put my hand on Toushirou's forehead.

My arms came to a cross on the edge of the bed, making a good head rest. I put my chin on my arms and watched his chest rise and fall, "He doesn't even have a fever so why won't he wake up?...More importantly how's he surviving with food and water?"

**O.k so anyone who's reading this and is waiting for me to update Private School or Worst Fears...I'm sorry but I'm going to have to take a break from those stories and try something different...this is it I hope you enjoy. And don't forget to review!**


	2. The Dream

_I looked at my surroundings I was in some type of forest. I knew it wasn't my inner world my inner world looked like everything was made of frozen lightning. So where was I?_

_I wondered if anyone else was there and cautiously called out, "Hello?"_

_I waited for an answer only to get a chopped up sentence like I couldn't hear everything they were saying, "I'm...free...almost broken...th...after...you...loves..."_

_I leaned against a nearby tree trying to figure out where I had heard that voice before. It was so ominous...so __**familar**__. But I just couldn't place it..._

_"Using...soul...to ...free. Won't...up."_

_Just what was this person trying to tell me? It sounds important but why are they trying to tell me? I'm so confused so...dizzy. The last thing I saw was a figure walking towards me before I fainted._

I jolted upright and looked at my surroundings again. Yuzu was holding my shoulder and Toushirou was lying in front of me still unconscious.

Yuzu looked at me with concerned eyes, "I've trying to wake you up for 20 minutes...Well anyway dinner's ready."

I nodded and stood up pausing when I realized, "I fell asleep?"

Yuzu giggled, "Aparrently. Why?"

I started stretching and muttered, "Nothing. Just the dream I had it seemed so real but so fake at the same time...I guess it being a dream explains it."

Yuzu shook her head and grabbed my wrist dragging me out of the room, down the stairs, and to the table. Ichigo and Dad were already sitting in their seat each holding a bowl of Miso soup.

I raised an eyebrow at Yuzu asking the silent question...She glared, yes Yuzu glared at Dad, "They broke my cooking spatula..." (Does she have a spatula she uses for something else? O.o)

Oh that explains things...Fighting is O.K in this house as long as you don't break something of Yuzu's. Yuzu is so very dangerous when you break something that's hers, especially cooking tools.

I wonder what she did to them? More importantly what was that dream all about?

Oh well no use fussing over it, it was probably my imagination acting up again...

Just what is my problem lately? I broke a promise, got my best friend hurt, and now I'm having dreams about weird voices..

Could someone be trying to tell me something...Again I have an over active imagination...

I sighed and sat down next to Ichi-nii and was confronted with a question I had forgot hadn't been answered, "Karin, you never did tell us how Toushirou got hurt."

Why did he have to ask...Well probably because I've been avoiding telling him for 3 days now...stupid Ichi-nii

**Sorry for the short chapter but the next one's going to be really long so this is like a pit stop to prepare me for the really long one K?**


	3. Telling the Family

I stopped short of grabbing a bowl of rice and looked at my brother, "Huh?"

Ichigo side glanced at me and looked down at his soup, "You never told us what happened with Toushirou. You left it all a mystery, How he got hurt, why you two were together in the first place, why you spend every moment possible waiting by his side, waiting for him to wake up. I mean I know you said it was your fault, so I understand feeling guilty but just because you feel guilty doesn't mean you should sit there all day."

I looked down at my lap so my hair was blocking my face from view, well at least from the side, Yuzu could still see my face because she was sitting in front of me, "It's funny Ichigo everyone knows but you. I mean why I sit there not how he got hurt."

Yuzu shook her head and looked at our older brother, "Maybe you should just drop it, Ichi-nii." Our Dad also stood up from the table, "What you don't know won't hurt you. And at this point I don't think it would be safe to tell you."

I smirked, "I think you're wrong about that Dad. He'd only go after Toushirou if we were dating or something like that." I looked at Ichigo through my hair, he was looking around wildly with a confused face, "Why am I the only one in the dark? And you're not dating him right?"

It sure is fun messing with Ichigo...Anyway I looked back up at him and shook my head, "Nothing like that. But me and Toushirou are close, we're best friends so it's expected."

I grabbed a bowl of rice and started shoveling food in my mouth. My heart was racing over how Ichigo would react. Hopefully not badly, I glanced at him to make sure. His mouth was slightly agape and he seemed to be staring at the table, "Huh. Who knew Toushirou could make a friend that isn't forced to patrol for hollows with him. I mean he's so cold an..."

I cut him off mid-sentence, "He's not cold! He saved my life blockhead!" Ichigo quickly turned his head towards me, "He what?" I looked down once again this time with everyone staring at me, "He saved my life how else do you think he got hurt."

Ichigo blinked then his expression hardened, "I want details, now!" I could tell he wasn't going to let me keep it to myself even if I tried, "Well...it went like this..."

_FLASHBACK_

_I was running home from my training with Kisuke (in soul reaper form) when I saw Toushirou sitting on the railing (in soul reaper form) as usual. I slowed down and walked up behind him, he seemed lost in thought staring out at the sunset. I put my my hands down on the the railing beside him joining him in watching the sunset. After about a minute like that I looked over at him through the corner of my eye, noticing that he seemed to still not notice I was there. So I spoke up, "This is your favorite place to watch the sunset right?"_

_He jumped slightly and looked over at me, "I never said it was my favorite. It's just-as far as I know-the best place to watch it."_

_I nodded and looked back out at the sunset remembering a place my Mom used to take us to picnic and stargaze in the middle of the night,(A. I'm weird leave me alone) "I know a good place to watch the stars and the sunrise."_

_His gaze had fixed back out on the sunset but he stil answered, "Oh...is that so?" He said it as if he could barely speak, quietly and slowly._

_I nodded, "Yeah and if we start walking now we'll get there right when the stars are their brightest."_

_He glanced over at me then back at the sunset and slowly stood up, "Lead the way."_

_He sounded like he didn't want to leave the sunset, like he was only going because I wanted him to. I stood up too and turned around, "It's this way," pointing in the opposite direction. He stepped over the rail and stood behind me, "Obviously." I looked back at him glaring, "What?" He blinked, "What're you so mad for? All I meant is that if we're going to watch the sunrise we'd have to go in the opposite way of the sunset. Because..."_

_I sighed at my stupidity, "I know, I know, the sunrises in the east and sets in the west."He put his hands in his pockets, "Then what were you so mad about?" I looked at my feet suddenly embarassed, "Nothing." There was a long pause before he spoke again, "Then lead the way."_

_We were still walking when the stars came out and the moon started to rise. The moon had always reminded me of my mom. Not only did she love to watch it throughout the night but I had always thought of the sun as a father and the moon as a mother._

_The sun always stood out and kept us warm, trying to shine it's brightest to get it's childrens' attention. But the children were afraid of it's light and hid beyond the sky always flocking to the mother for comfort. They saw the suns need for attention as violent and were afraid of being hurt. But when the sun set loneliness and disappointment in itself softening it's colors, and the clouds gathered casting off a pink, yellow, and orange light. _

_The children-the stars-always came out at this time attracted to this beautiful side of their father. One by one they alighted in the sky wanting badly to run to their father and accept his warmth. _

_But it was too late the sun was going to sleep and it would burden him to keep him awake in the late hours of the night, for he had a job to do the next morning, to keep them warm and protect them from the dangers that lie beyond._

_So they stayed with their mother, playing together and having fun while the soft light of the moon watched over them making sure they were caused no harm. Their mother was always smiling a soft smile and they loved her for it._

_But soon they had to sleep too and their father started to wake. Bringing a sleepy but beautiful light over the horizon to the east, and the children wanted to run to him once again. But once he woke up he gave off those violent rays and the children were scared away once again sleeping in their mothers arms._

_And the cycle continued with the sun never realizing that he needn't shine that bright to get his childrens' love. And the stars never realizing that their father would never hurt them. _

_I jumped at the sound of Toushriou's voice behind me, "That's an interesting way of seeing things."_

_I blinked wondering what he could've meant, it took only few seconds to realize what must've happened, "Oh! I was saying that aloud wasn't I?"_

_I looked back at him, I was walking a couple feet in front of him, "The sun and moon thing? Yeah you were, why? Did you not realize you were?"_

_I slowly shook my head and we walked on in an awkward silence. By the time we reached our destination the moon was almost straight above our heads. This place was was a cliff, outside the city limits and past the danger of the neighborhoods on the border. A single tree only a few feet away from the edge. The cliff seemed to go down about 150 feet._

_At the bottom of the cliff there was a large forest...you couldn't see the ground for all the trees. I sat down with my back to the lone tree and looked up at the sky. I heard a shuffle and then Toushirou was sitting next to me._

_There was a long silence before Toushirou asked, "How'd you find this place." I smiled and stared at the moon, "My mom...used to take us here in middle of the night to watch the stars. It was one of the things she just couldn't help but love."_

_And the silence settled again...I don't know how long we sat there or when I fell asleep but the next thing I knew I was waking up to what seemed like the start of a sunrise. I blinked trying to wake up completely. I realized after a couple of seconds that I was leaning on Toushirou's shoulder. I quickly shot up causing him to jump._

_He leaned away from me breathing heavily, "Geez Karin yoiu couldv'e said something first...__scare me to death...__"_

_I looked down blushing, "Sorry. I didn't mean to." Whether I was talking about scaring him or or moving that fast I may never know myself._

_The sun started to rise and we both looked back out at it. It was then that two immense spiritual pressures appeared from behind us._

_We both quickly jumped up and drew our zanpakutos. As soon as we did two arrancar sonidoed in front of us smirking and looking smug. Toushirou looked a me, "You take the one on the right I'll take the other one."_

_The arrancar both frowned, "What are you whispering about over there? Ah well it doesn't really matter you'll be dead soon anyway." _

_Toushirou smirked, "Don't be so sure of yourself it might just be your undoing." I smirked as well shaking my head, "If you've forgotton us Soul Reapers have plenty of experience with your kind."_

_Of course I don't have as much experience as Toushirou but that doesn't mean I haven't fought arrancar before._

_The fight went on well for quite a while. Toushirou had almost finished off his opponent in only 20 minutes...without even releasing shikai._

_I had been doing just as well...I raised my zanpakuto to deliver the final blow when my opponent suddenly raised his hand and started forming a cero. I took a step back from the blinding red light. But I hadn't realized how close I was to the edge of the cliff and my foot slipped. I was suddenly falling downwards towards my certain death._

_I could decipher a few screams two sounded in pain and the other was a scream of my name. I forced my vision to focus only to realize I had my face in a shihakusho. A minty yet musky smelling shihakusho. __**Toushirou**__. _

_I screamed, "Toushirou! What the hell why you jump after me! I hope you have a plan like using your bankai to save us or something!"_

_There was a calm intake of breath befor ehe answered, "I can't I dropped Hyourinmaru when I jumped after you. My zanpakuto's already at the bottom of the cliff."_

_When he said this I mentally blanched wondering where __**my**__ zanpakuto was because I certainly wasn't holding it anymore. Toushirou sigh his breath fanning over the top of my head, "Your zanpakuto's in it's sheath...I certainly wasn't going to pull you closer to me with a sword in your hand."_

_I was silent taking in the way he was holding me to him. His left arm was coming around my back his hand gripping the back of the shoulder of my shihakusho. His other went lower than that, coming around my back, his hand at the small of my back. He was holding me close, as if it was impossible for him to let go. _

_And I felt safe not like my life was in danger, though it really was. I was content, and though I could be falling to my death I was calm...happy even._

_Then it was ruined, we were hitting tree branches, or more accurately Toushirou was. A particulary flexible branch stalled our fall catching us bending down and snapping back up. _

_It dug into Toushriou's side drawing blood and cutting his uniform. We fell the rest of the (about) 40 feet without coming in contact with anything else...except the ground._

_When we hit the ground Toushirou was under me...all my weight on top of him. We hit the ground with such force that we bounced back up and hit again. I could hear that distintive snap of a broken bone several times over. _

_Toushirou's hold on me loosened and he rolled over to his side dragging me with him. His arms retracted from my back and went to his stomach and ribcage. He curled up in a fetal position, eyes clenched shut, biting his lip._

_I sat up staring at him for several seconds before looking down at myself to see if I was injured too. I wasn't. It wasn't fair that Toushirou got so badly hurt for helping me. Saving me._

_I stood up looking at our surroundings. As I should've known we were surrounded by trees. At my feet lie a forgotton Hyourinmaru. I lightly picked it up and dropped to my knees crawling over to Toushirou who was still in a fetal position. I put Hyourinmaru in it's cracked sheath, still on Toushirou's back. The sheath was almost broken from the fall but it somehow survived._

_I contemplated a way to get Toushirou up onto my back without hurting him too much. Not finding one, I grabbed his wrist and started to pull him up. His eyes shot open, "What are you doing?"_

_I shook my head at his stupidity, "I'm picking you up since it's obvious that you're hurt...pretty badly too."_

_He yanked his hand away from me suddenly looking mad...and not very much in pain. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, "I can get up on my own!"_

_He started to stand up wincing several times. I shot up to my feet when he got to his. He put his hands on his hips, "See I told you."_

_But then he tried to take a step and started to fall. I stepped forward catching him before he hit the ground...I had to balance myself to support his weight. His eyes and nose were just above my shoulder but his mouth was buried into it._

_I heard a soft whisper of, "I'm Sorry," before he completely slumped down sliding down the front of my body until his hair was below my shoulder, then falling onto his back seemingly unconscious. _

_So I picked him up and walked toward the bottom of the cliff. I didn't know how to walk on air yet, Kisuke had only trained me in sword fighting so far. So I would have to climb, 150 feet upwards, carrying Toushirou._

_By the time I had got to the top the sun was setting once again and my body was numb. Toushirou was tied to my back using his sash. (You know the one he uses to hold Hyourinmaru on his back. Note: She puts it back on Toushirou after this)_

_I fell to the ground to tired to walk at the moment, but after I had recovered I started running towards Karakura,hoping it wouldn't take to long to get back. I was wrong, by the time we got back it was -I was guessing- around 9:00. And I was so far away from home...on the outskirts of the city. _

_But I kept running hoping someone would be there that could see us...that would help him._

_END FLASHBACK_

"And after a while Ichi-nii you found us." I finished my story sighing loudly.

Ichigo blinked, "Do you realize how long you were gone? How long you weren't home? You realize that the reason we even found you in the first place is because you both worried us half to death?"

I smiled, "But we were O.K Ichi-nii. There's no need to worry anymore...well not about me anyway. There's plenty of need to worry about Toushirou."

And for the rest of breakfast everyone ate in silence and peace.

**OMG school is so annoying! First I couldn't update because of family events...then because of school...Ugh you guys have no idea how hard I've worked on this chapter...It's been forever and a half since I've left my room.**


	4. A Special Meeting

After breakfast I helped Yuzu wash the dishes humming songs together, I almost I had forgotten how critical every second was that Tousirou was still unconscious. Almost.

Every second of my life would mean nothing if I lost him...I could never play soccer again or do my school work. You're probably thinking I'm over reacting but when you lose someone who compliments you so much on those things, you just can't do it once they're gone.

After the dishes were done I retreated back to Toushirou's side. Only this time Yuzu was at my side. I looked at Yuzu and back at Toushirou, something broke and I screamed, immediately bringing my hands up to my eyes catching the tears. I knew that Ichigo and Dad would come running in thinking I was in danger but at this point I didn't care.

Toushirou was unconscious and I didn't know if he would ever wake up again. I may never talk to him again and I never got to say goodbye or I'm sorry. I'd never see him looking at me with that confused face again. I felt Yuzu's arms wrap around me. I could barely see anything for the tears in my eyes and my hands in front of my face, but I could see Yuzu hugging me from the side.

Then everything disappeared there was no Yuzu, no floor, no broken heart. The tears stopped and I took my hands down from my face. I was alone in a abyss of darkness. Nothing surrounding me, it was like I was the only thing in existence. I stood up hoping I could balance on nothing.

As soon as I did the tears started falling again...I was alone, confused, and still without Toushirou. I knew why I was so upset about losing him but if I admitted it, it would only hurt that much more. Just another thing I never would get to say to him.

I bowed my head looking at the endless blackness below my feet...watching the tears forever fall on. Arms embraced me once again this time from behind, I thought I was fading back to sanity but I dismissed the thought when I saw the almost transparent fore-arms resting on the top of my chest.

And the voice almost silent, whispering in my ear, "You know I hate when you cry." Immediately I started struggling to turn around, "Toushirou!"

All I got was a, "Shhhhh." I stopped struggling and gently rested my hand on his elbow. It was silent for a while before another whisper echoed in my ear, "I may die someday...protecting you, but it's not anytime soon. I'll wake up this time just not now. You shouldn't waste your time sitting next to me. Go out and play soccer or something, just don't waste your life on me. I jolted suddenly angry with him, "It's my life I can do as I please! And what do you mean you won't wake up now! Why won't you wake up so everybody doesn't have to worry!"

His grip tightened on me, "I don't have the energy or strength to pull myself together at this point. I need time to gather my thoughts and emotions and piece myself back together. Right now it took all the energy I had to pull you into this empty space. I'm only by your side at this moment because I borrowed your spiritual pressure to materialize myself."

Tears were still falling from my eyes and going through his arms. "Why?...Why did you save me? I still have an after life ahead of me you're gone if you die...Forever. You won't exist if you die."

I could feel him smile into the side of my head, pressing his ceek to the side of my head to show affection. I didn't how much affection it showed though and I thought I never would, "Look I appreciate that you're thinking of me when you say that but you don't realise that if you died you be in so much more danger than you are now. You would never see Yuzu again and there's always that possibility that Aizen will come back and get you. You would be putting everyone around you in pain especially your family. And you know that if you died and I preformed a konso you'd lose your memory right? You wouldn't know who I was or who your family is. You'd have to fend for yourself not realising how much spiritual pressure you have until you have someone you want to protect no matter what the cost. Whether that person is a sibiling, a friend, or a romantic interest they would be the only thing on your mind. Even if you met a friend or family member in the Soul Society you wouldn't pay us any attention. We'd all be so happy to see you again and you be so confused as to why all these strange people knew your name and why they were acting like they knew you. Nobody your friends with now or even remotely close to would ever have the same relationship with you as they do now. I can't just let you go like that, your my best friend, and it would be all my fault if I hadn't saved you. If you had died and forgotten me I would eventually be led to death anyway because I couldn't live with that...knowing that you would never remember me or any of your friends and family...knowing that I had let you go, that it was my fault...That's why I had to save you. Because even if I died saving you, it'd be better off than living a life without you. You understand?"

I nodded, silently crying, understanding all of it but one thing. Why was I so important to him? We were best friends yes but...I know about Kusaka and Toushirou lived his life without him. Kusaka was his best friend and he still moved on. He said it was because he had to...because it was effecting the people around him. So why couldn't he do it with me...why couldn't he move on from me. I didn't know if he could read my mind but it certainly seemed like it when he answered my thoughts,

"It's because Kusaka was the first best friend I had. I lost him and I moved on because I knew that I would get stronger so I wouldn't lose another friend. I can't lose another friend I would break down...I wouldn't be able to operate or think straight. If I lost one more person I would kill myself. It would drive me over the edge. And I know you're thinking what about Momo? She was in a coma and you thought you were going to lose her too. But it's not the same...I knew deep in my heart that it wasn't my fault even though I constantly blamed myself for it. If she had died I would've been depressed yes, but I would've gone after Aizen not myself. It was his fault not mine, and I knew that. I knew that she wasn't going to die because of my own stupid mistakes. Besides she's awake now and although she won't speak to me I'm happy because she's happy."

I turned my face slightly towards his still unable to see him, "But isn't the same? If I had died I would still technically be living and if I found someone in the Rukongai to protect wouldn't you think I was happy with them? So even if you had let me go you could move on because I was happy right?"

"It's not the same I wouldn't be happy because you'd be...You wouldn't be happy with me...Momo she's a sister to me I'm happy when she's happy and I'm mad when somebody upsets her. It's generally the same with you but even if you were happy, I couldn't stand to see you with someone else...Because even though I would still have you, alive I mean, I wouldn't have you at all..."

I was really confused at what he was saying. He wasn't making any sense at all. He interrupted my thoughts once more, "I'll explain later right now I need to rest. I've used up all my energy talking to you. I'm sorry, tell everybody that although I'm in critical condition I'm gonna be okay."

"Wait no! Don't go!" I knew I sounded stupid but I honestly didn't want hin to leave me. "I have to you've got worried family members waiting for you...I can't keep you to myself. Besides where we are now is my inner world...I need to rest so Hyourinmaru will come back so that I won't be transparent in my strongest state. Goodbye."

And was gone, I had lost the warmth that had surrounded my body and calmed me down. Though I had stopped crying. I took in a deep breath closing my eyes as I did. When I opened them again I was staring blurry eyed into my brother's eyes. I yelped in suprise jolting up and hitting my forehead against his. "Ow..ow..owwwww" I paused and looked back up at him anger burning through me, "What the hell were you doing so close?"

Yuzu's soft voice giggled somewhere behind me, "I told you Ichi-nii not to get so close..."

Then I heard my father's laughter near the door, "My son has learned his lesson...and if he hasn't why don't I teach it to him!"

I rolled my eyes when Ichigo growled, "There's no need." Great this was just great now wasn't it? And it was because while everyone was laughing Toushirou rolled over to face away from us. I thought it was because we were too loud and as he said before he needed to rest. Ichigo however smiled and his eyebrow twitched, "Lazy ass...Won't wake up cause he's freaking tired."

We all laughed for hours more enjoying the time we had as a family. And for the first time I was happy that Toushirou was the in critical condition instead of me. I needed to thank him for thinking that far ahead when he saved me.

**Okay guys sorry for the long wait I've had a lot on my mind and on top of that I'm freaking lazy. Like Ichigo said "Lazy ass" hehe I'll try to update more often since I don't have as much on my mind but I can't make any promises. See you later, hoped you liked this chapter because I loved writing it. Tell me what you think.**


	5. Another Dream and A Plan

I had another dream that night only this time I was standing before a fiery pit. I looked down hot wind and smoke stinging my face.

This time the voice was coming from beyond the fire, "I'm almost free. I've almost broken the...coming...because.."

Still just as ominous as ever but I couldn't recongnize the voice all I knew was that I was in terrible danger. I got a glimpse of dark brown hair on the other side and suddenlt I felt sick to my stomach.

I woke with a jolt, gently sitting up in my bed. Yuzu was still asleep in her bed across the room. I pushed myself out of the bed looking out the window as I did.

Normally I would be comforted by the moon but this time I felt it would swallow me whole. The alarm clock on my bedside table said it was two in the morning.

I tried to lay back down and fall asleep but I couldn't. I sighed siiting up wondering what I was going to do.

Then I remembered Toushirou's embrace and started wondering. I was sure my blushing face was lighting the room as I sttod from my bed and started walking to the door.

Gently opening it I took a step out looking down the hallway for any source of activity. I didn't find one so I started to take another step.

"Karin-chan? Where are you going?" Yuzu's soft voice was right behind me.

I snapped turning around trying to hide any suspicious movement I could've had, "I had a nightmare so I was going to go get some water."

I hated lying to her but there was no way in hell that I was going to tell her what I was really doing.

"Oh well I thought you were going to sneak out of the house or something with the way you were acting."

Close Yuzu but not exactly, "I'll be right back try to go back to sleep."

"Ok." and she walked back to her bed to lay down

I turned back around headed for the stairs. I guess my plan would just have to wait until next time.

I sighed, "So much for falling asleep again...stupid ominous nightmares."

**So yeah short chapter but it's just some fluff that I added in to get the seriousness and playfulness in balance. If you can figure out what she was going to do I might just write a chapter with a length of your choosing. R&R Have a good night!**


	6. An Important Realization

I was right about not getting any sleep I stayed awake staring at the ceiling when I came back with my glass of water. I almost threw up from drinking it, I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, but Yuzu made me drink it since I went all the way downstairs to get it.

The morning light was soon shining through the window irritating me to no end. I tried to roll over and hide from the light, failing miserably. I groaned pushing myself tiredly off the mattress and to a sitting position. I closed my eyes and sighed finally excepting that lying here was no use I wasn't going to sleep anytime soon.

Pushing myself to my feet I immediately took off towards the door. I don't know why but I felt sick, incredibly sick. My vision blurred and I stumbled more than once on the way to the bathroom. I wondered if it had anything with gaining my Soul Reaper powers recently. Kisuke had told me that because of me being used to being nothing more than a human the sudden power gain and too much training could make me sick. I wasn't my brother and I never would be as powerful as him.

I barely made it to the toilet before I started vommiting up the contents of my stomach. Acid, that's all that was in my stomach and it burnt my throat. By the time I finished puking Ichigo was squatting next to me holding my hair out of the way.

I rocked back on my heels wiping at my mouth but not failing to notice I was shaking like a leaf. My brother sounded annoyed when he started talking, "Though you do train quite often...since you haven't in the past few days don't you think this is probably about lack of training?" He was blaming me...though Kisuke had also said something about lack of training. I wasn't listening when he talked about it though because I never planned to skip a day of practice. I need all I can get I don't want to depend on others.

I gagged and attempted to answer him, "I couldn't...Toushirou..." I wanted to hit myself for not being able to finish a single sentence, for being so weak. My mind suddenly flashed to my dream and I knew it wasn't because lack of training. My eyes shot opening and my stomach lurched forward in pain. These dreams were just as real as they seemed and something or someone was using them to hurt me.

I felt like I was being stabbed from the inside out but before I could say anything it was gone.

I realized my face had gotten a lot closer to the floor and Ichigo had his arm in front of my shoulder to keep me from falling the rest of the way...things just got a lot more complicated.

I shot to my feet wobbling on my unsteady balance. Ichigo shot up too somehow realizing that this was more than training sickness, "Whoa, Karin maybe you should lie down." I ignored him stumbling towards the one place I felt would take it away. The same place I was going the night before.

I knew not why or when I came to the conclusion that someone who was asleep and powerless could help me. It didn't help my labored breathing or sickness but being near Toushirou made me feel safe like nothing could touch me.

I realized now that was untrue because the sickness had to be caused by the person in my dreams, the ominous voice. But even as my brother tried to pull me away from the bedside I sought comfort in Toushirou, refusing to move. My forehead was resting on the cool sheet Toushirou was lying on. There were only a couple of inches between the top omy head and his face.

Sometime throughout the night Toushirou had rolled over again this time facing the closet, or away from the wall anyway. His hand was next to my face but not quite touching me, the other hand under his head. The only part of him that was touching me was his warm breath fanning over the top of my head and disappearing into my hair.

I suddenly grew tired of my brother's attempts to move me and shouted, "You're not helping! You're jostling me around and only making me want to puke more! Leave me be." The last part was only a whisper unable to be anything louder because of the overwhleming sick feeling running through my body. He stopped his hands retreating from my shoulders, only seconds later the door was slammed behind me.

I gently lifted my head from the bed to stare into Toushirou's calm face. This time his breath fanned over my face and I had to shy away from it. Not that it was his fault but Toushirou had bad breath at the time and it wasn't helping any. Careful not to further upset my stomach I pushed myself up once more and climbed over Toushirou. I curled up behind him on the bed not wanting to touch him because I had a feeling he could sense my bad moods and good moods, when I was here with him and when I wasn't.

I didn't want to have anything awkward for him to bring up when he woke up. I pushed myself against the wall trying to be as close but as far away as I could get to him. I felt myself finally drifting into sleep a dreamless sleep no one would interrupt.

...

I woke deep in the night staring at Toushirou's back. I was still curled up in a ball and I felt like I could do anything. Like shatter trees or make it rain blood. I don't know why I had gained so much power or how. But at the moment I didn't care. Though I had a good sleep I was still greatly tired, and I fell asleep once more with a smile on my face and calmness in my heart.

I was lucky to have Toushirou, whether it was him or not that took away all my problems I was grateful to have him. And it was in that moment on the brink of sleep and reality that I realized nothing would ever be the same between me and him. Not because of the cliff and not because I depended on him but because I realized one of the most important things that night.

I loved him.

**Hi guys so yeah I just finished a book and I was bored so I thought why not update fanfictions? I just now threw this together but hey I do that to all of my chapters, because if I think ahead I lose enthusiasm for the fic. Hope you liked r&r **

**BTW Avatarfan444 and ichiruki45 guessed Karin would go see Toushirou. That's where she was going so you two get together or something and tell me a chapter length I'll write it no matter how long it takes me. XD**


	7. Scared for Myself

I woke up in my own room staring at the white lifeless ceiling. I felt as if I had just awoken from the coma Toushirou was in. If you could even call it that.

I had had enough with how much I was sleeping and how many times I found myself getting out of bed in the past two days. I growled at myself, ''God what's wrong with me"

Before I had time to think of something to keep me occupied there was a sort of whisper behind me, 'This way.' But when I turned around no one was there. The voice sounded like Toushirou but...something was wrong.

What if he was trying to tell me he wasn't going to wake up or that he actually was dying. Before I even knew what was happening I was sprinting down the hall and slamming the door open to my brother's room...

The window was open and the bed was empty. My heart stopped, where was he? I slid to the floor scared and out of my mind, Toushirou was gone but there was no way he could've woken up yet...was there? No way he could be...

Had he been kidnapped or had he died and faded away. Another whisper, "Not there." I turned around again catching a glimpse of something or someone disappearing around the corner and down the stairs.

Joy leaped through me as I realized Toushirou was up and walking. I dashed down the stairs wanting to throw myself into him. But when I got to the bottom nobody was down there but Yuzu. She was cooking breakfast for all the people who hadn't woken up yet.

I frowned, "Where's Toushirou?" My senses must have been going carzy because I could've sworn it was pitch black dark before I reached the bottom of the stairs. Now both the living room and kitchen lights were on just as they were any normal day at 7:00.

Yuzu flipped the egg in the frying pan before looking at me. Western breakfast something was on her mind, she never cooked western always traditional Japanese. "What are you talking about Karin-chan he's asleep upstairs like always.

I blinked in confusion, "But...I..." She cocked her head slightly to the side, "You what? There's no way he's not there I checked on him before I came downstairs. The sun was starting to rise outside I could see it through the window. I tried to make sense of it all but failed miserably. I looked back up the steps wondering if I was just seeing things in my half-asleep state.

When I saw a white cloth disappear around the corner again I knew I wasn't. It looked like a Captain's haori. That meant either Toushirou had to be walking around or a Captain was prowling around our house.

I carefully slid up the steps not wanting to attract attention. When I got to the top I only saw Ichigo's door closing, someone was definitely here. I knew I looked just as confused as I was as I tip-toed down the hall.

Quietly I opened the door not sure I wanted to see what or who was inside. I looked anyway and immediately wished I hadn't.

A man much taller, much older, and much more powerful than me sat at the end of the bed staring at me. Toushirou was indeed still in the bed and I suddenly knew why I hadn't seen him earlier. My body froze over in terror only able to stare back at the very famous, very dangerous man.

His brown hair was slicked back in the same style it was the last and only time I had seen him. Wait that wasn't right, my dreams suddenly made sense he was the ominous voice the figure I couldn't identify.

His brown eyes stared at me and I felt as if the were stabbing needles into my soul. The white clothing hanging around his body made it final, the one staring back at me, the one haunting my dreams, the one trying to tell me something was none other than Aizen Sosuke.

He stood,which made me start shaking violently. Every step he took closer crushed me. His spiritual pressure his power seemingly breaking the bones in my body. I glanced at Toushirou wishing for two things: 1) That he wouldn't get hurt because of this and 2) That he would wake up and save me from this nightmare.

Aizen's voice echoed in the room and got louder the closer he got to me, "You should've listened I told you I was coming. I told you that I was going to kill you."

Was that what he was trying to tell me in the dreams that he was going to kill me? I was so sure there was more than that. It didn't matter anymore I wasn't going to live long enough to find out. He reached out to touch my face and I suddenly snapped out of my daze.

It occured to me that my brother had sealed Aizen away once, years ago at the cost of his spiritual pressure. It had only taken away his spiritual pressure for half a year and now he was just as strong as he was back then. Possibly stronger.

I opened my mouth to scream then turned around to run out of the room. I only got to the stairs before a hand was clamped over my mouth and an arm wrapped around my stomach. Please Yuzu don't be the one to come upstairs to see what was wrong. Please Ichigo be woken up by my scream, come save me, I can't do this.

I heard Yuzu's soft voice from downstairs before I was dragged back to Ichigo's room, "Karin are you alright?" I was thrown over Aizen's shoulder which successfully knocked the breath out of me. As he jumped out the window of the bedroom I saw two things before I was knocked out.

Toushirou waking up and turning to look at me wide eyed and Yuzu coming around the corner to see if I was ok.

Then it was all blackness.

Why me? Why did he want me of all people?

Somebody, Anybody save me.

**Bored again I think I might put up a chapter everyday now if I can continue to come up with new content hope you like it R&R**

**How bout the two winners of the last contest both PM me a length and I will write the exact middle between the two answers k?**


	8. Hueco Mundo Part 1

**Ok readers these next few chapters will be in different POV whether it's Toushirou's, Ichigo's or Karin will depend on the chapter this chapter is in Karin's POV and what happens after she gets to Hueco Mundo.**

I woke to a blurry person's face, I thought at first that it was Toushirou because of his eyes. But once my vision focused I realized this man wasn't Toushirou at all...it was someone who my brother had killed years ago before he sealed Aizen away.

Damn, if Aizen had really just come back into existance he worked fast. If Ulquiorra was back did that mean the rest of them were too? Grimmjow, Stark, Halibel, Nnoritora, all of them were they back in power?

I didn't want to think about it and I knew I must've went pale because Ulquiorra blinked, "You're certainly not like the last woman I had to guard. You're trash just like the rest of them. Another one afraid of what they haven't given a chance."

Whoa, did that mean he wanted to get a chance to prove himself harmless? And the last woman he guarded...was Orihime. Did that mean Orihime was more to him than trash? I had just woken up in wherever I was and I was already confused beyond comprehension.

He quickly straightened himself, "Though given the chance I wouldn't act any differently. You'd still be trash." Nevermind.

I sat up quickly glancing around the room. It was luxury, not something you'd imagine a hostage sleeping in, designs boarded the walls and themed the room. The bed I was in was soft and light blue for whatever reason. I wondered if Aizen was using his shikai's ability of illusion like he had been in the house.

My question was quickly answered, "It's a room for the arrancar that hasn't been resurected yet. There's no way you would sleep in such a comfortable room trash." I blinked, "The arrancar? Does that mean the rest of you are already in existance again?" I hadn't meant to say it out loud, and I wish I hadn't because as soon as the words came out of my mouth my head started pounding in pain.

Again I didn't know what was causing it, before when I was sick it was probably because Aizen was about to come back into the world. Wait does that make me phychic? No, Karin this was no time for jokes, something bad was about to happen and I knew it. Ulquiorra seemed to know it to because he looked toward the blank white door, as if waiting for someone to come in and tear us both to pieces. What was weird about it is that, even I got that kind of aura from him he looked as calm as could be.

How was that even possible?

The door slammed open revealing a very irritated Grimmjow, "Get out of my room! Wy the hell was I the last one to be brought back? I blame you, you had something to do with this didn't you?"

He was glaring straight at Ulquiorra who responded with, "Don't speak to me that way idiot. It wasn't me anyway. Aizen-sama wasn't sure he could trust you it had nothing to do with me."

I smiled, softly laughing at their bickering, until Grimmjow snapped at me,"What're you laughing at? I'll tear you apart!" Ulquiorra held up an arm to my luck defending me, " You can't hurt her, Aizen-sama wants something with her. Though he was defending me from a certain death I felt my blood drain from my face and my heartbeat speed up.

Ichi-nii had told me stories about all the arrancar he had met, most often bringing up Ulquiorra and Grimmjow. Always talking about fights he had with them: Ulquiorra had killed my brother, and Grimmjow had made Orihime bring Ichigo back to life to fight him again.

They were strong and I definitely didn't want to make them mad. Though I was usually egotistical and had pride in my ability I knew I was no match for either of them.

Grimmjow glared at both of us then growled out, "Get out of my room." I bolted up eager to get away from them, "Okay I'm leaving!" I gotten to the door by the time I heard a chuckle behind me. I turned back around confused. Grimmjow was the one laughing, "You don't even know where you're going and you think you can survive here. Most people around here wouldn't hesitate to rip you limb for limb."

I furrowed my eyebrows together, "And you haven't killed me why? My brother told me about you, you're not one to follow the orders of do things your way so don't tell me it's because Ulquiorra told you to."

Both of them blinked with blank looks on their faces, "Your brother?"

I nodded with my arms crossed, "Don't think I didn't know who you guys were at first sight. Ichigo forgets a lot of people's faces and name but you two aren't in that category." I pointed at Ulquiorra, "You killed him, Ulquiorra Schifer, ripped a hole in his chest because you are missing a heart yourself, and you wanted him to feel the same, heartless."

I then turned to Grimmjow, "And you-from my point of view-are a stalker. You appeared almost everytime my brother went out into the open. You, for whatever reason that I could never figure out, wanted to obliterate Ichigo no matter the cost."

Grimmjow was gaping at me and Ulquiorra was being his normal self calm and organized. Then Grimmow smirked, "You didn't say my name which means you don't know it." I resisted the urge to slap myself in the face, "Grimmjow Jaquerjacks. Your name is Grimmjow Jaquerjacks, now that I think about your last name sounds like Apple Jacks, you know the cereal...nevermind don't mind me, my brain has completely left me."

I thought for a split second that I saw both arrancars in front of me smile. Maybe they weren't as bad as Ichigo made them out to be. But I wouldn't try anything to make them mad just yet, I don't fully trust them with my life.

Grimmjow opened his mouth looking more calm and serious than what I had seen him since he entered the room. But he never got to speak, the door was slammed open and I was pulled backwards violently.

I flailed kicking and screaming until I heard the southern-like voice, "Now lil' miss you wouldn't want to get on Aizen-sama's bad side would ya?"

I looked up to white hair and closed eyes. Right now I wasn't sure who I was more scared of Gin or the arrancars.

But I knew overall I was most terrified of Aizen and all the power he possesed.

**Finally finished this chapter! I don't know why but this took me longer than I thought it would R&R Byebye for now...**


	9. Hueco Mundo Part 2 And Special Twists!

**Ok guys this chapter because of it's length is going to switch POV's in the middle that way you can see a little of what's happening on each side. I'm sorry about how long this took but school and me being extremely freaking lazy can get in the way of writing**

**Karin POV **

Soon after Gin snatched me out of Grimmjow's room I was roughly thrown to the floor in a blank white room...it kind of looked like a throne room. I could see the full out of the long skinny windows to either side of the throne.

Aizen was siiting there staring amused, but not so amused at me. Amused that I had survived so long, and not so amused because...well I was just guessing on the first one and I couldn't really think of why he'd be mad at me other than the fact that he seemed to be irritated at everyone everytime I had been around him. That couldn't be true right? He had to be happy sometimes, didn't he?

I wasn't exactly willing to stay around and find out. My thoughts were quickly interrupted by Aizen's rough voice, "I see you're still in those unflattering human clothes. I'll have that changed as soon as you get your own room." I blinked wondering what my room would be like...if it was going to be like Grimmjow's or if it was going to be boring and lonely.

Aizen sighed, "You know sometimes I get bored so being my hostage you will entertain me."

I bolted up, "What, no!" I slapped my hands over my mouth immediately after that scared of what might happen. He stood up from his throne deeply frowning. I urged my body to take a step back but I was frozen in place. Crap, this wasn't going to go well.

He stopped in front of me and leaned down to speak in my face, "You will do as I say when I say. You hear me? Nobody, not your brother, your friends, or your boyfriend scare me so don't think you'll get away with speaking out of turn." I know it would've been smarter to keep my mouth shut and listen to him. It would've saved me so much harm, but I couldn't. I was a girl who stood up for her rights which for some reason possesed me to say,

"Get out of my face you bastard."

It earned me a slap in the face, with such force behind it, it knocked me to the ground. Moments later I heard him speak again, "Gin. Take her to her room. Make sure she doesn't get dinner tonight. Maybe that way she'll learn her lesson."

What was I? A kid who had stayed out passed curfew? I didn't matter to Aizen and that was that. I was just a stepping stone in his plan and there was no way out of it. I would probably be killed and no one here would care.

Gin yanked me up by the arm and started dragging me out of the room, I was more confused than I was scared but I knew that would change soon...or not. He suprised me with a comment I never expected from him, "Be glad that I could get you out of there. Everyone is scared of him, so don't expect me to save you if things get out of hand."

I was silent for a few moments before I came up with a response, "What do you mean?" I didn't get an answer which left me even more confused and alone. I don't know if I heard him right but did he just say everyone is scared of Aizen?

Before I could come up with a logical answer I was thrown to the floor once more. This time in a lifeless room, it had no color and the only furniture was a bed...Well I'll be bored here.

The door was slammed behind me and I sighed...If Aizen was someone I trusted or someone I would willingly obey it wouldn't have fought against his order. But I wasn't going down without a fight. If I went down at all I would go down while being me and openly showing it.

I sat awake for a long time before falling asleep in the floor. I had a dream about playing soccer...all those years ago with the middle schoolers. How I had bruised my knee and Toushirou came and helped our team. I dreamt about how he had saved me from hollows several times before. And finally I dreamt about the faces that I wouldn't see again if I died here.

I woke up with a start and tears running down my face I was staring into emotionless green eyes. I jumped back and started wiping the tears off my face, "What are you doing in my room?"

"Hush."

That was probably the last thing I expected to hear out of Ulquiorra's mouth...ever. I expected a "Shut up" or something. He stood above me looking down, "You know from seeing how brave you can be earlier I wouldn't expect you to be crying so easily. Aizen already getting to your head?"

That was the first time I'd heard him adress Aizen without a -sama at the end of it. I frowned, "No he was in my head before he came back. He's not the one making me cry dumbass. And you're right I don't cry easily." Though I seemed like I was doing a lot of it lately...

A more smug voice sounded from behind Ulquiorra, "I told you, you shouldn't have gotten so close to her face Ulquiorra. She's got enough to be scared about as it is without having to wake up to you."

Ulquiorra glared at the blue haired espada leaning against the wall, "You get on my every last nerve."

"Oh yeah? Then why are we working together?"

"We have the same goal now please just shut up before someone hears your screaming down the hall."

They sounded the same but I couldn't believe what was coming out of their mouths. They sounded like best friends fighting over the last cupcake or somehting stupid. I couldn't help but laugh.

They both looked at me annoyed, "What're you laughing at?" It suprised me that Ulquiorra didn't call me trash or hadn't since he got here but I chose not to bring it up and simply answer their question, "You sound like friends fighting over something idiotic. O-Or kinda like a couple who can't decide on which one of their favorites is better."

Ulquiorra glared at me, I was still laughing, and I backed into the corner almost afraid I had gone too far. At the same time I also was too amused by the situation to stop now, "Hey you asked I'm just speaking the truth. I'm starting to think all my brother told me about you guys is a lie. He told me frighteningly powerful and prideful. That Ulquiorra kept to himself on all except how disgusted he was with everything that wasn't good enough. And Grimmjow just was someone who wanted to show off how powerful he was. That he'd track Ichigo down just to pulverize him. But to me you seem more like immature kids who try to act like adults and fail miserably."

I fell onto my side and continued laughing unable to stop. Grimmjow snorted, "The hell with what you're thinking." Ulquiorra continued the thought, "Just because we haven't killed you doesn't mean we can't. We could very easily finish you off, but at the moment we've got a plan for you that might benefit all of us. I guess you won't get to hear it, considering you you think we're immature kids."

I stopped laughing, suddenly the situation wasn't funny anymore, "I'm listening."

Grimmjow stepped closer to me, "You are our ticket out of this stupid place. And your own ticket out I guess...that is if you don't screw it up and get us all caught."

"How would I possibly benefit _you guys_? And what do you mean ticket out? Aren't you on Aizen's side?" Grimmjow jerked me up by the arm so that he wasn't staring down at me, "We don't want to be here any more than you do idiot. Ichimaru already gave you a hint stupid girl, try to think back on why we would be here. Why would we want to be somewhere where we don't even have our own free will?"

"Power?"

He shook me, "I told you to think back idiot!"

And I did...what had Gin told me? Why were they there?

_Everyone is scared of him, so don't expect me to save you if things get out of hand._

Was that it? "Are you...scared of Aizen?"

Ulquiorra sighed, "As much as anyone here hates to admit it, yes. We're just pawns in his little game. What he does with our lives is up to him, we have no power to control him. He could kill us with a swipe of his hand."

Grimmjow stepped in, "So we expect you..."

"No! Stop right there I'm just as terrified as you are. I'm even less important to him than you are. I stand even less of a chance than you do...I just, I want to go home. But not if I'm going to go home with memories of something he's done to me..."

Grimmjow stepped back looking at me with what seemed like pity. Maybe it was disappointment I didn't know.

The look was quickly gone and the frustrated look he always had was back, "Fine we'll leave you out of it but just so you know you're giving up your only chance out. Come on Ulquiorra."

Ulquiorra glanced at me then followed Grimmjow out of the room. I slumped to the floor out of breath and totally scared. Why me? Of all people why me?

Of course I had always stuck out in both spiritual pressure and personality but not nearly as much as Ichigo. Why doesn't Aizen just take my brother and fight him instead of trying some horrible battle plan to lure him here? Sometimes I wonder where evil mastermind has gone these days.

I didn't ask for any of this to happen and of course I would withstand anything Aizen threw at me the best I can but what I said to Grimmjow was true I don't want to go home with horrible memories haunting me. I don't want to have to depend on someone else for comfort...that's why I stopped crying so long ago. I want to be able to take care of myself and not worry others.

I'd always been like that and I always would be like that.

I lifted myself from the floor and walked to the small iron-framed bed. It's sheets were a blank white but somehow looked comfortable in the events that had happened. I climbed in the bed and curled into a ball under the covers.

I fell asleep sometime in the night still in fetal position.

~Meanwhile~

**Toushirou POV**

"Would you just trying to be so calm? We all know you're just as messed up about this as everyone else is, Toushirou." Kurosaki had his arms crossed and was glaring at me menacingly.

While it was true that I was very upset about Karin getting kidnapped I wasn't going to lose my calm in front of everybody else. I had just woken up from a coma in which I was trapped in for some unknown reason, Karin had been kidnapped by the very man who was sealed away 6 years ago, and it was 4 in the damn morning.

I had been awake since 6 something yesterday morning needless to say I wasn't very happy. I glared right back at Kurosaki, "I'm naturally calm Kurosaki. I'm not going to lose my cool when we all know that you're going to chase Aizen down without a plan to get her back."

He growled back at me, "What's that supposed to mean? Karin worried herself sick over you and you're not even going to react to her being kidnapped by Aizen? What the hell is wrong with you?"

I snorted and started walking towards the door, "I'm leaving, it's not like any of us are even in here for a reason, you don't plan ahead. The only reason any of us could possibly have to be here is to persuade you to make a plan. Which you're not going to listen to and all our time that could've been spent on getting ready for battle and such would be wasted on sitting here and trying to get an overprotective older brother to change his mind about immediately rushing after his little sister."

I opened his Urahara's shop door and walked out ignoring his angry glares and everyone else's mumbles. Of course Kurosaki had to get the Head Captain to allow Matsumoto, Abarai, Madarame, Ayasegawa, and Kuchki to come back to the living world for "an important meeting." Right before I was out of earshot from them I heard Abarai say, "You he's got a point..."

I smirked, of course I did. What was bothering me most about this is that no one will tell the Head Captain what we're up to. Everyone thinks he will move on without considering Karin, but that's not what he did before right? He just didn't tell Kurosaki that he would provide help or anyone for that matter.

He would help right?

The crisp night air made me think of how nice Fall and WInter were compared to Summer. It had already cooled down and there wasn't half as much humidity. Though weather isn't what I needed to be thinking about right now. I needed to think up my own plan for getting Karin back.

Aizen was back and there was no telling what he could do now. I wasn't ready to risk everyone's lives for this. Sure I'd give up my own life for Karin but it's not fair for me to take others' lives in my own hands. I'd never be like Aizen, nobody has the right to harm anyone else unless it was for an ultimately good purpose. Like eliminating the threat of the world. (A/N: evil smiley face from me :))

The only problem with going on my own is that not only will I have a lesser chance of living and I'd probably get punched by Kurosaki, considering he would want in on his sister's rescue. Karin would need more than just my help if she was at all injured in Hueco Mundo and she would probably be mad at me for putting myself in danger to protect her.

I couldn't wait and let her find her own way out, and I didn't want to either. I couldn't accept help from my small group of friends knowing that some of them may not make it back to home. And I couldn't go on my own, now that I think about it, because of how little a chance I would have of succeeding. I'm ready to die trying to save Karin but I want her to know that she will be safe if I do.

Unlike Kurosaki I _overthink_ my plans...and this could be a bit of a problem for me considering I'm stuck for what to do. And Kurosaki knows already that if the Soul Society refuses to help and we can't come up with a good plan to save his sister, that he'll rush in there without thought and save her. I guess we both have pretty bad problems. He _doesn't think_ and I _overthink._

What am I even doing? Comparing myself to him! That just shows how much I think...My God, what would Karin think if she knew? I could just hear her now, "Why do you bother comparing yourself to anyone? You're you and nobody can change that..." And then she'd give some stupid example that says how much she's like her brother, "It's like when you're a hobo and you want so badly to be a millionare but nope you're still a hobo."

I smiled sadly at how silly she was sometimes and how much I already missed her. I just couldn't believe that after the sort-of coma I was in that I couldn' t see her or talk to her it just didn't feel right to me. True I had contacted her when I was still in comatose state but that felt like forever ago.

I shook my head and took a deep breath trying to calm my erratic heartbeat. If only she could see what she did to me but nope she's just as oblivious as Kuchiki is to how Kurosaki stares at her and vise versa. Everyone else sees it but them.

Sometimes I wonder how people can be so clueless...

I found myself at the soccer field where I had helped Karin's team win so long ago. I moved to a soccer goal and sat down leaning against the metal bar.

I could still see Karin running and laughing, all the while kicking a soccer ball and trying to get me play a game with her. I could see her lying in the grass and pointing up at the bright blue sky, trying to find shapes in the clouds. I could see her looking completely confused at me when I had said she was more than a friend to me. I smiled sadly at the memory, she was just completely innocent wasn't she?

She couldn't even see it when I told her. She had said she didn't know what I was talking about. And I...swallowed the urge to cry and forced a laugh. I told her it was nothing and asked her if she wanted for me to walk her home...

By the time all my memories were done running through my head the sun was rising, bringing back memories of a sister, a friend, and a betrayal. I saw a completely different but somehow similar girl laughing and calling me "Shiro-chan" I saw hercrying as she drew her blade against me, confused and manipulated by Aizen. I could see her lying on the ground bloody and not moving. I could see her lying in that bed in the 4th company, in the same comatose state I was in not too long ago.

And finally the memory that sticked the best was the smile she would give when she got her way. Momo and Karin.

I loved them both in totally different ways. It was then that I realized that I _would __**not **_let Aizen hurt another one of the people I held dearly. I started to see it Kurosaki's way. Why plan when you can go in there and give it your best? With my new found determination to save anyone and everyone around me _without_ a plan, I stood up and raced toward Urahara's shop hoping Kurosaki was still there. I no longer would be manipulated by Aizen knowing my every move. Knowing that I would plan before coming...

Well not this time. I know that the last time I rushed into battle I had almost gotten myself killed, but honestly I didn't care if I died as long as Karin was safe. I wouldn't lose I had too much confidence, something I tend to stray from..

Besides I'll have the overprotective big brother by my side, I doubt he's going to let anything stop him from saving his sister. And damned if anything was going to stop me from saving her life once more.

**OMG guys! It's been sooo loong...Well yeah first it was writer's block then it was laziness and then I was mad at my boyfriend and started writing again...Strange huh? Well please REVIEW I need to know what you thought after soo loong. This chapter as requested is between 3000 and 4000 words long and boy was it a hassle...especially when it swtiched to Toushirou's POV that was difficult...**

**Tell me your thoughts, PM me about something I don't care as long as you're reading this...but I would still like a review thanks...** XD


	10. Trying to Convince the Heartless to Love

**I'm glad that you guys like the last chapter and I'm gonna say before I start this I have no idea what should happen next so keep in mind this is as new as it is to me than it is to you. **

**Karin POV**

I woke up alone for the first time in what seemed like forever and I wondered how much trouble I would get in if I left my room. I shivered and pondered if it was worth the risk. Probably not but, I had a gut feeling that something I needed would be right outside the door. Maybe even...No I shouldn't get my hopes up. I rushed to the door and carefully but quickly opened it, suprised that it was actually unlocked, then started to bolt out of the room.

I didn't get very far however seeing that I ran into someone as soon as I stepped over the threshold. I bounced of te person's chest and looked up...into emerald green eyes...again... I glared at him, "My brother hated you because you were dangerous and kidnapped Orihime. I hate you because you won't leave me alone!"

His eyes narrowed, "I could list a thousand beings that hate me. It doesn't make any difference to me that you are added to the list trash." I scowled, "What happened to 'We need your help,'? First you're treating me like I'm the key to the rest of your life and then you're calling me trash, talk about bipolar." Ulquiorra rolled his pale hands into fists then unrolled them and gathered his composure again. Back to no emotion once more... Dammit and I was just getting him all worked up too. I wonder why it's so easy to bother him now since Ichi-nii described him as emotionless and calm.

He pushed me back into my room softly which suprised me even more than I already was. "Wha...?" He walked in the room and closed the door behind him. I backed up a step, "What are you doing?" He took a step closer to me, hands in his pockets. I took a larger step backwards, "Seriously, what are you doing?" He took two steps closer to me and removed one of his hands from his pocket only to grab my wrist. I tried to pull my wrist away from his grip but failed miserably. He grabbed my chin and moved my head from up, to right, to left, to down. He seemed to be examining my face. Though maybe not since he forced me to look up at him and he stared into my eyes for what seemed like forever.

I averted my gaze but he just tightened his grip on my wrist and whispered, "Look at me." And I did from the pain in my arm. He only stopped whatever he was doing when my door slammed open and yet another familar and annoying voice appeared, "Whoa! What's going on in here?" Ulquiorra dropped his hands back into his pockets and sighed, "You know you really are bothersome Grimmjow." He said Grimmjow's name like it was the worst thing he could possibly say. Ever. I ignored them both and rubbed at my hurting wrist hoping to make it feel at least a little better.

The comment that made me tune back into the conversation wasn't actually a comment at all it was a question, "So, kid. You're Ichigo's little sister right? Weren't you the one who was almost killed by Nnoritra when Aizen decided that killing all the Kurosakis was the next step in taking over the Soul Society? Well not all of you, Ichigo was part of his plan in the future so he had to live. Anyway, were you that black haired kid hiding with a blonde kid in a closet somewhere?" I looked up. Not only did he remember me from so long ago he was leaning in so close I could feel his breath across my face.

I took a frightened step backwards. He grinned, "See I told you I knew her from more than just her name. Wow, you really grew up didn't you? I thought you were a boy back then." I swatted my hand in the air, "The past is the past and I intend to leave it there. Drop it." Grimmjow snorted as if in amusement, "Was that a command I heard? I'm sorry I don't take orders form human girls." I glared at him, "You'll think that when I'm getting rescued and you're dying on the floor alone." He scowled and stepped forward fury glowing form his facial expression, "You little brat. I could rip you apart and you have the nerve to boss me around? I'll do the same to you that I did to your brother way back when."

I smiled, "But you can't now can you? It'll get you in trouble with your boss and on top of that it'll make Ichigo mad if he comes to rescue me only to find out that you hurt or killed me. And we wouldn't want that happening now would we?" Sometimes being snobby and jerkish pays off because as soon as the word 'boss' came out of my mouth he crossed his arms and took a deep breath. Ulquiorra stared blanky at me but I knew that anything that could cause his death scared him, though I wasn't sure why. Orihime had said he thought life was pointless and that 'feelings' did not exist but I could see the anger earlier and the confusion and the fear.

They were like normal people only hollow-like and dangerous... I blinked at them, "Let me ask you something," they stared at her, "How is it that a being without a heart can feel emotion? Answer me that and I'll calm down depending on if you give the correct answer."

They were both silent until Grimmjow blurted out, "How should I know?" I shook my head and looked at Ulquiorra, waiting for an answer.

I stared blankly at me then turned and started walking toward the door. I frowned, "Well? Aren't you going to even try? I figured you'd know the answer considering that you're so different from what I've heard." He opened the door and answered as he left, "The people around with the emotions you so clearly lack give you the ability to use your own. In other words the people around you are your emotions when you lack your own." And he closedthe door behind him.

I smiled and shouted at the closed door, "It's impossible to lack emotion! You can't have an opinion or a personality without them! You don't need a materialized heart to love! And something tells me you already knew that." The last part was only a whisper but Grimmjow, standing next to me, still caught it. Which seemed to amuse him, "Hah! You think _he_ knows how to love? None of us do! We're weapons not weak _humans_. We don't _**love**_." I grinned at him, "You love to fight do you not? You keep telling yourself that you can't love. But someday you will find someone or something that you would lay down your own life for and that day is the day when you realize there's not much of a difference between humans, Soul Reapers, and Arrancar."

He look extremely confused. His eyebrows were furrowed together and slightly twitching and his mouth was slightly open. I laughed at him, "One day you'll see. And you'll wonder how you ever lived without them. Just wait for the day..."

"Does...Does that mean you think Ulquiorra already found his 'heart' or 'love' or whatever you're trying to say."

I sat down on the bed, "No one who was described as: cold, calm, emotionless, collected, composed, etc.has so much depth behind their eyes. Or looks so depressed when someone brings up him not having a heart. Or..."

"Ok. I get it! I get it! But who do you think he..." I shook my head, "I don't know yet. Only a friend can be trusted with personal information like that. Something you guys need to learn how to be."

He walked to the door, "I don't have time for this crap! This stuff will only make me weak! I don't need it!" And he too left the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Maybe it wasn't so bad being kidnapped and all. I mean I've only seen Aizen once since I got here and...

Well as long as nobody brought up **that** night again I guess I could try to make friends with the arrancar. Or...the ones who wanted to make friends anyway... I didn't even want to think about the others.

**WELL for not knowing what I was going to write this turned out pretty good...I guess...I don't know! Review and tell me! I had fun writing anyway... The next chapter will probably be in Toushirou's point of view... It's actually up to you guys. I could write from either perspective. Review and tell me what yooouuu want. I love how this is turning out so far and I hope you do too. I'll see you next chapter. OH IMPORTANT NOTICE! THOSE OF YOU WHO LIKE PRIVATE SCHOOL, I WILL PROBABLY BE TAKING THE STORY DOWN AND CHANGING IT QUITE A BIT. IT WILL STILL BE THE SMAE PLOT JUST DIFFERENT...I DON'T KNOW WHEN IT WILL BE PUT BACK UP WHEN IT'S TAKEN DOWN I'M SORRY.**


	11. Determination and Odd Conversations

**Toushirou POV**

By the time I arrived back at Urahara's Shop, the only people left talking were Kurosaki, Urahara, and Shihoin. They all looked at me when I walked in and I resisted the urge to blush in embarrassment.

I gulped, I wasn't here to be embarrassed I was here to save Karin. To get a gate open no matter what the cost. Kurosaki glared at me before asking, hateful, "What do you want?" I crossed my arms, having a sudden need to shout at him. But I didn't I breathed in deeply and looked at Urahara, "Open a gate."

His jaw dropped, "A gate? To where?" I snorted and narrowed my eyes, "To a candy shop. What do you _think_ I'm talking about? To Hueco Mundo! Open a gate now." It occured to me that I was acting like a child my demanding things like this and I blinked at my own stupidity. All these years trying to get people to see me as an adult. All these of waiting to get taller, and getting my wish. Wasted, because I was deciding to act like a spoiled child...Oh God. What would my reputation be next?

Hopefully I was just overthinking things and I was the only one who saw me as childish. Urahara blinked. Twice, "You're being awfully irrational, Captain Hitsugaya. What's gotten into you? I would expect this from Ichigo but not from you."

I scowled, "When I say open a gate, Urahara, I mean open a gate. You should know from my Lieutenant by now that I'm not very patient." Kurosaki laughed and I looked up to glare at him, but he wasn't laughing at me. He was laughing at Urahara, "See! I told you someone would end up coming with me! You can't say that I'm going alone now!"

My lips curved upwards slightly in a smirk, "So, are you going to listen to me or am I going to have to freeze the room over?" Urahara held up his hands in defense, "Calm down! If you're really sure about this I'll open the gate. But when you die I'm not going to be held responsible."

I clenched my jaw, "I'll be damned if I let anything get in my way. Your warnings of death don't scare me so open the gate."

He gaped at me, they all did. I shook my head in exasperation, "You act as if I've never rushed blindly into unknown dangers and battlegrounds. Because you know I was left on the floor to die when Aizen first turned and almost lost an eye the night before I found out. And you know I stabbed Hinamori through the heart and got basically cut in half in the same day. And I was in a coma just yesterday. Everytime I come close to dying isn't going to change me. I rush into battle to protect others, not to secure my own lifeline. So if you don't open the damn gate right now, I swear to God I will kill you and open it myself."

That seemed to change his mind on hesitating to let us pass into Hueco Mundo...Kurosaki still gaped at me and Shihoin smiled. I sighed at Kurosaki's stupidity, "Close your mouth Kurosaki. I risked my life once for Karin I'll do it again."

He closed his mouth and gulped, then glanced to Shihoin, "Say Toushirou..."

"It's Captain Hitsugaya."

"Yeah, yeah...You know how you saved Karin from falling earlier? Yeah, um, thanks..."

I glanced at him only a head taller than me now, "You're welcome."

He blushed, "Um, something random here...Can you?...Can you tell who I like? I mean everybody says they see it. And you know, if you can see it, it makes you more observant than I originally thought. And that means you care what's going on around you and..."

"Shut up...I can tell you who _Yuzu_ likes. And in my opinion that's a lot harder to see than your crush on Rukia."

His face glowed red, "You didn't have to say out loud!" I smirked, "Why shouldn'y I say it out loud only Rukia doesn't see it. Everyone else knows. The only reason Rukia doesn't see it is because she thinks she's stupid for thinking you could like her back."

"It is _NOT_ that obvious! Wait what? Did you just say that Rukia likes me? That's impossible... Wait. What did you say about Yuzu having a crush on someone?"

I shook my head, "I pay more attention than you thought I did."

He grinned, "Yeah well I'm not as stupid as you think I am."

I closed my eyes, "Yeah well I guess you have to prove me wrong on the way to saving Karin. After all it is a long trip aheadof us."

He sighed, "Nobody ever believes me when I say I'm not stupid." He slumped down after saying it as if he was depressed.

I resisted the urge to laugh, "You're not stupid you're dense there's a difference. Stupid is when you only see right now and yourself. Dense is when you can't see the obvious things right in front of you."

He sighed again, "I don't see the difference. Cause if you're dense doesn't that automatically make you stupid? Since you can't see past right now and yourself you're not seeing the obvious life that's better and right in front of you."

I rolled my eyes, "I see your point. Maybe you are stupid. But as I said before: Prove me wrong."

I actually found myself wanting to see or hear something smart come from Kurosaki. I seriously hoped he would prove me wrong.

**OMG Guys they're getting along! That is not what I expected! Sorry for the short chapter it's TCAP time and it counts 25% of our grade this year...stupid tests...I'm leaving the old Private School up as long as I don'y have the new one written that way people can still favorite or Alert so they'll get a message when the new one gets up...I talk toooo much. My boyfriend came over to my house today so again I guess you can thank him for me writing...XD Don't forget to review...**


	12. Terrified

**Karin POV**

How long had I been here? Probably not as long as it felt but I had no sense of time. It felt like weeks since I had been kidnapped. Time runs faster in Hueco Mundo too right? Then how long had it been in the human world?

I sighed I had such a headache. So long here and I still hadn't had much contact with anyone but Ulquiorra and Grimmjow. Both of which had serious issues...

I felt like forever ago that I had argued with Grimmjow about love. I wondered what it would take to get myself into Aizen's "throne room" without being brutally murdered? I bit my lip and contemplated whether or not I should try to find the room myself. My thoughts were interrupted by the door slamming open.

I didn't even flinch I was too used to it. I looked up at the door scowling, "When are you going to learn that you don't have to slam the door open?"

But it wasn't Grimmjow...My eyes widened the black hair and the eyepatch. Nnoitra. I shuddered. He took a few casual steps into my room looking directly at me, "Who did you think it was slut? Last time I checked nobody has been allowed in here for as long as you've been here. You got a secret lover boy somewhere?"

Slut? Did he really just call me...? I glared at him, "Unlike you, bastard...I don't offer myself to anyone and everyone and I suggest you don't call me a slut again." He grinned...lord he had big teeth...and crossed his arms, "What are you going to do about it _slut_? You didn't answer my question either, who did you think I was? Obviously you've had a lot of visits to your bedroom otherwise you would've been scared and jumped when I slammed the door open. You were expecting someone weren't you slut?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down, and failing miserably. I clenched my hands into fists and unclenched them several times, "It's none of your damn buisness who I thought it was. And so what if I didn't jump my Dad slams doors open all the time. I'm used to it, it doesn't make me a slut."

He...he just annoyed me, badly...who would've thought that the espada that had tried to kill me and almost succeeded could be so...so stupid! Only immature teenagers acted like this! Why did my life suck? Just why does everything and everyone have a personal mission to annoy the hell out of me?

"It does make you a slut. Only sluts would be used to people barging into their bedrooms."

That's it. I've had enough. I lunged for him with intent to severely injure him. He caught by the hair and slammed me into right next to the still open door. For several seconds my vision wnet white and I couldn't see anything. My hands instinctively went to my hair where he was holding me up. I winced nad tried to pull away from him.

He dropped me and instead picked me up by my neck and held me to the wall. I couldn't breathe and my feet weren't touching the ground. I grasped at his hand trying desperately to get away.

I gasped for breath as my vision finally focused on his dark gray eye. I don't know why but the only thing I could think of is that I was still wearing the pajamas that I had been when I was kidnapped. Just a pair of white sweatpants and a black tank top. It hadn't occured to me at all before now.

Nnoitra seemed to read my mind and looked down toward my chest. He looked me up and down twice before he grinned, "Wearing some damn skimpy clothes aren't you?" My mind scramed at me. All I could think was DANGER. And I was exactly right.

His free hand roughly pulled my tank top upwards almost to the point where my chest would be exposed. He stopped then and looked me in the eye, grinning like a maniac, "Something tells me that you are not wearing a bra." **(I realize that espada most likely don't even know what that is but just pretend they do...)**

I gulped for air and successfully got two lung-fuls before he looked back down and ripped my tank top from my body. I pulled at his hand and kicked my legs in desperation. I used my forearms to cover my chest the best I could while still pulling at his hand. I wanted to scream but I didn't have enough air.

His grin widened, "What do you know? I was right." Oh God...

I flared my spiritual pressure as much I could trying to get someone elses attention. He responded by slamming my head against the wall again. The door was_ open_ and he was still getting away with this...

I'm not strong enough to protect myself...One of my worst fears... What would the others think? What would Toushirou think? I was shaking...My whole body was trembling.

I couldn't see him but I could feel Nnoitra's hand just below my left breast. I kicked at him again trying to get him to let me go. I choked as I tried to form words, "I...don't have anything...you'd want..." He drug his nails down my stomach, "No? But I'm enjoying watching you squirm."

There was something seriously wrong with his mind and there was a word for it...What was it?..Sadistic. He's sadistic... He knows that he's terrifying me and he likes it.

This brought me to a new realization. He wasn't going to stop. I clenched my jaw as the tears ran down my face, "...Please..."

**Oh my God I wish my mind wasn't extremely sadistic as well...Oh well review! I love you guys even if this chapter sort of scared me...Sorry for the short chapter**


	13. Death Sentence

**Karin POV**

* * *

><p>I tried to find a way out of this... First things first: Assess the situation.<p>

Okay. Nnoitra was holding me off the ground by my neck and pushing me into the wall. I wasn't getting enough air and I was shirtless. The door was wide open beside me. If only I could get a Substitute Badge or a Mod Soul Pill... No! Think Karin think!

I was positive the back of my head was bleeding and I was starting to get light-headed. I had to figure something out quick or two things would happen...I would be raped and I would pass out from a head injury and lack of oxygen. What would make him lose interest? If I wasn't scared? I don't think I could mask my fear. If I threatened him? No that's exactly what got me into this situation... What then?

I felt violated...My tears-the ones that didn't go in my mouth-were stuck between his hand and my neck. My blood was running down my back. My hair was stuck to my face. My stomach burned where he had scratched me. My neck was probably bruised. My fingers ached from trying to pry his hand away. My feet were numb from being off the floor for so long. I wanted somebody to come and help me so that I wouldn't have to think so much. With every thought I had my head pounded in pain.

"Nnoitra!" I gasped and turned my head towards the door. The grin I was expecting wasn't there replaced by a large frown. And for once his light blue eyes were open. Ichimaru. Nnoitra seemed a little put off by Gin's arrival but he didn't loosen his grip on my neck. I watched as Gin took several steps toward us. He stopped right next to us.

"Drop her."

Nnoitra's grip tightened and I almost blacked out. He spoke in a low voice similar to a growl, "I don't take orders from you. Don't think we don't all know that you are not on Aizen's side. You betrayed us, betrayed the side of power. What makes you think I'll take orders from a guy who is so obviously against me."

Gin's grin returned and he closed his eyes again, "Because currently I have Aizen-sama's trust. And I know he didn't order you to do this. In fact he has told us all not to hurt her. So unless you want to be punished for disobeying _two_ direct orders from your superiors you will drop her."

He dropped me.

Nnoitra's face wore a scowl that rivaled even my brother's. He looked like he wanted to kill Gin. And if power was measured by height he would've won easily. It looked so weird that someone nearly a foot shorter than him was giving him orders. Nnoitra smirked, "She didn't jump when I came in here. I slammed the door open and she didn't jump. That means she was expecting the door to slam open. That means someone has been in this damn room when Aizen told us to stay the hell out! She was supposed to be isolated!"

Gin's grin only got bigger and he looked at me, "Have they been bringing you dinner to you on time. I know how Grimmjow can get...late and loud isn't that right?" I only nodded.

Nnoitra looked dumbfounded and Gin opened an eye at him, "She only went without food the first night here. Of course others have been in here. Aizen wants her dead but he wants to be the one to kill and he's waiting for a certain white-haired prodigy to show up. Which probably won't be for another month or two. Until then she will continue to recieve food and if she gets to claustrophobic she'll be allowed outside...with a guard of course."

He seemed to say for me not Nnoitra to hear. I could request to go outside. But really that's not what caught my attention Aizen wanted to kill me in front of Toushirou. He not in this to hurt me he's in it to hurt Toushirou. And anybody who really cared about me. But mostly he wanted Toushirou out of his way. Why is it always Toushirou he wants out of the way. Why does he want to hurt Toushirou so badly? First it was Momo and now me. Hadn't Toushirou been through enough?

I was only starting to actually catch my breath but I still was incredibly light-headed...and half-naked... I blushed and covered my chest with thoughts of my death running through my mind. What had Toushirou told me when I was in his zanpakuto's world?

_Because even if I died saving you it would be better than living a life without you._

Well then I was in some serious trouble. With the way he talked he'd end up dead too...

What have I gotten myself into...

**Don't you just love my sadistic nature? I love my sadistic nature...Haha review please! *puppy dog eyes***


	14. Feelings

**Karin POV**

I racked my brain for someway to save myself. I had on Gin's estimate a month or two to live and the last thing I would probably see would be Toushirou being too late to save me.

Wait! I had Soul Reaper training doesn't that mean that I'll just be a... No. I keep forgeting that the pills Kisuke gave me only acted until I returned to my body. I'm still only human.

Ichigo fought Aizen and won once right? Maybe he can do it again? Not with all the espada in the way...

How many people are coming to save me? Is anybody coming? I doubt the Head-Captain would give permission to chase after Aizen when they didn't know what he could do now that he was out of the seal.

Didn't Aizen still have the Hogyoku inside him when he was sealed? Where is it now? That's probably what he was using to bring the dead espada back... If I could just get it from him. What if it was still inside of him? He looks normal like he did when he first rebelled against the Soul Society. Why?

If it was still inside him then it may be so that they would underestimate him. And my brother is just stupid enough to fall for it. Gah! This is so frustrating.

Suddenly I only had one thought on my mind. Not that I was going to die. Not that I'd never go home again. Not even that I wouldn't get to tell Toushirou I love him. No the thought on my mind is I wouldn't be back on time to return to school when my suspension was up... Wow what silly things you think of when death is close.

Gin led Nnoitra out of the room without giving me anything to cover myself. Great. Not only was I going to die, Grimmjow and Ulquiorra would most likely see me half naked. That just made my day...

I fell onto my side and curled up in a ball. I was positive that my neck was terribly bruised and I still could only take in shallow breath. Just as I started to close my eyes and sleep I finally came up with an idea that could very possibly save my life. However it would be hard to pull off alone. Maybe Grimmjow and Ulquiorra would help. They did say they wanted to leave here.

But then I'd have to convince the Soul Reapers to let them live. Why do plans have to be so complicated?

If I could convince Aizen that I'd work for him then he would spare me right? But I would have to come up with something that would make me valuable to him... If I could come up with that I could possibly live. And I'd get actual clothes...Wow this day just got better.

I stared at my demolished shirt where it lay on the floor a few feet in front of me and thought of how different it would feel to wear actual clothes. I almost fell asleep again before I saw feet. I was too tired to look up but I recognized the voice, "Well isn't this interesting? No shirt, bruises, and blood. What do you think happened Ulquiorra?"

"I don't know. And I prefer not to care."

"Wow you're a bigger jackass than I am...And _that's_ saying something."

I used my knees to cover my chest and reached up for his chest, "...Shirt..." It sounded stupid but it's all I could manage to say. He seemed taken aback by the idea, "Wh-what?"

Ulquiorra sounded amused, "She wants the jacket you call a shirt to cover herself with."

Grimmjow sounded embarrassed which I thought was impossible, "I-I don't think it'd be very good for covering...It's not that big of a jacket."

"You're quite a lot bigger than her it would be good enough for now."

I managed to pull at the cloth on his shoulder, "...shirt..."

Just talking again made me cough which hurt my throat immensely I had to close my eyes from the pain. It wasn't until I opened them that I realized I had coughed up blood onto my knees and onto the floor.

Grimmjow sighed loudly, "Hold on." A few seconds later a cloth was draped over my upper body, "...Th...thank...you."

I started to fall asleep again and got the sensation that I was floating. My face landed on something soft and I opened my eyes one last time before rest and found my pillow unnder my cheek. I remembered my plan and tried to put it in action before I completely feel into slumber, "...need y-your help wi-" Cough,cough,"-with esc...esc...nnnn."

I couldn't finsh the sentence.

They were already being a lot nicer than when I got here. Who would have ever thought that Grimmjow of all people would give me his jacket to cover myself with? Who would've thought that I would have to pretend to be on Aizen's side? I never thought I was capable of even pretending.

I dreamt that I was watching myself as if from someone else's point of view._ I was wearing the white outfit that every other espada wore. Aizen was standing behind me with a huge grin on his face, "If you screw this up I'll kill both of you."_

_I nodded, "Yes Aizen-sama."_

_What was going on? The me I was looking at didn't seem to be conscious of her actions. She had a blank emotionless stare like a robot._

_The door in front of this fake me slammed open and my brother rushed through the door, "Karin!" he got this look of realization on his face, "I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to take you home, ok?"_

_Ichigo was covered in blood, it must have been hard to get here...But the thing that caught my attention was that he was the only one there. Not even Rukia was with him. Then...he came alone?_

_My question was answered when Aizen spoke, "Say Kurosaki didn't you have a partner when you first got here? Where is that silver-haired prodigy, hmm...maybe that's his blood you're covered in? You're certainly not injured yourself..."_

_Ichigo slowly looked down at his bloody hands then looked to the side and towards the door._

_No...Ichigo couldn't kill anybody...He wouldn't hurt Toushirou would he? The other me finally seemed to react to something and pulled a blade out. It wasn't a zanpakuto just a knife... The other me charged towards Ichigo with only the knife. He looked betrayed, "Karin..."_

_But I stopped and he stared at me. And Grimmjow suddenly was punching him. The punch hit hard enough to send him back through the door he came in. I wanted to cry but I had no tears. I wanted to scream but I had no voice. I wanted to die but I was already gone._

I woke up coughing again. This time it only hit the bed. I couldn't see anything and it would be pitch black if it weren't for the barely open door. I thought back to the dream what did it mean I was already gone? Was I dead? Was that why I could see myself? But if I was dead who was the other me? Who was controlling that body?

I heard a loud yawn on the other side of the room and jumped. Instintively I reached for a lamp only to realize I didn't have one. Were Grimmjow and Ulquiorra still in here? That's the only people I could think would be in my room. But why? Did Grimmjow want his shirt back or something?

My heart raced wondering who it was. I don't think I could handle anymore drama today.

I sat up quietly, wincing at the overall ache of my upper body...espcially my neck. I was going to get out of bed when the door opened the rest of the way. I sighed in relief when I saw the emerald eyes and black hair. I focused my attention on the other part of the room where the yawn came from. It was indeed Grimmjow curled up in a ball, in the corner, asleep.

I put his shirt or umm...jacket on and pulled it tight around me for warmth and coverage. I wanted to laugh that Grimmjow was curled into a ball. A mighty fighter slept like a kitten...well I suppose his released state is Pantera or "Panther King" so it makes sense.

Ulquiorra walked further into the room without closing the door. I looked over at him and he stared blankly at me stopping his movement. I was starting to get light-headed from sitting up. I must've lost a lot of blood...who knows I probably have brain damage. Now I'm really never going to catch up to Toushirou in the intelligence area. Not that he ever really expected to be caught up to anyway...

Grimmjow yawned again and stretched out opening his eyes just a little bit. This time I really did laugh. And I couldn't stop no matter how much it hurt. So in the end I ended up crying instead and furiously wiped at my eyes.

I smiled sadly, "...don't make me laugh..."

I was suprised by how weak my voice sounded. I sighed loudly, "Dammit. I thought I was going to get out of here the same as I was when I got here."

The blue-haired espada on the other side of the room seemed amused when he said, "You thought you were going to get out of here?"

I shook my head, "I don't know...That's the thing about having loved ones you always have a gut feeling that they'll save your ass when you get yourself into trouble."

He raised an eyebrow, "I thought Ichigo was the only one in your family who could fight." I shook my head, "My Dad used to be a Captain of the Soul Society and I was training to be Soul Reaper before Toush was hurt."

"Who?"

I quickly looked up suprised that they didn't know, "Huh? I figured you'd know who the Captain of the Tenth Division is...Especially since your boss seems to have him set as a personal target. I...I think Toushirou is the reason I'm here. I mean he didn't choose this for me but Aizen has this thing that I've picked up on where he does everything he can to hurt Toushirou and I'm one of Toushirou's best friends soo..."

"For someone who was coughing up blood earlier you sure are talking a lot. And I really don't know who the hell you're talking about."

I smiled, "For someone who scared the hell out of my brother you sure are being a lot nicer than I expected...You also cuss less than I expected."

Ulquiorra sighed exasperated, "He usually swears a lot more."

In response Grimmjow grinned, "I could swear if you're going to complain about me not swearing." I shook my head, "No I prefer you don't." He scoffed, "Then don't complain."

Ulquiorra crossed his arms, "As much as I hate to admit it he makes a point you are talking a lot. That's probably not good for your throat either."

I blushed and looked away, "Probably not." My words were still really weak and I should have waited for my throat to heal. Grimmjow snickered, "She started talking a lot when she brought up that Captain guy. Maybe there's somethin' going on there?" He was teasing me... Wow just wow.

I could feel my face burning and Grimmjow's grin got bigger, "There is!" I shook my head as fast as I could without geting dizzy, "Not a mutual thing!"

"Huh?"

"Oh! Don't look at me like that! There's nothing sexual going on either! And there's certainly not any rape going on!...Well ther was earlier today but that had nothing to do with Toushirou! I meant he doesn't like me the way I like him. That's all I meant!"

My raised voice caused me to start coughing again. Once I stopped I realized that both guys in the room were staring at with a blank look.

I cringed, "What?

Ulquiorra answered, "What do you mean by rape was going on earlier today?"

"Oh."

**Wow some espadas being nice...who knew? Awkward moments for Karin...Review please!**


	15. Not A Bad Guy

**Toushirou POV**

"Are you and Karin really just friends?"

I blushed. For someone who usually isn't perceptive it would be amazing if he'd already figured me out, "What?" I tried to sound nonchalant about but I couldn't tell if I succeeded, I was too focused on my rapid heartbeat.

He sighed, "I just...Karin's not the kind of person to tell me things. She's always complaining about how I'm overprotective and I was just wondering. She didn't even tell me you guys knew each other until just recently. And she usually doesn't hide things as simple as friendship so I thought maybe she was lying to me. I mean she spent most of her time when you were in the comatose state sitting next to you. And now you're rushing blindly into Hueco Mundo with a guy that you hardly talk to."

I looked innocently around at the sands surrounding us. We were sitting literally in the middle of nowhere because I had insisted that if we weren't rested that we wouldn't do any good to Karin. Not that I really wanted to stop moving though...

I fought the urge to flop onto my back as I answered him, "We really are just friends Kurosaki. You really shouldn't come to the conclusion that we're together because she came to visit me when I was comatose."

He scowled at me, "If you saw her you'd think it too...One thing that really irritated me is that she depended on you to protect her when she had two strong Soul Reapers living in the same house that were actually _awake_. But no she gets sick in the morning and instead of being sensible and letting me help her she runs to you and then gets mad when I try to tell her that sitting there isn't going to help her stomach. It was only about 6 in the morning and she had _just_ slept but she still climbs into bed with you and goes back to sleep...And sleeps the whole day too!"

He sighed, "I just don't know what to make of it."

I could tell by the way the my face burned that my face was probably tomato red, "She WHAT?"

Kurosaki took one look at me and burst out laughing. His outburst of laughter only embarrassed me more. He managed to calm down enough to talk again after what seemed like forever. He had a huge smile on his face when he said, "Poor Toushirou isn't used to having a girl sleep in his bed."

I crossed my arms and felt my eyebrow twitch, "Like you are?" He stared blankly at me and then looked away, "No but I'm used to Rukia being in my closet...You should've seen your face! You know Karin will probably kill me for telling you that."

I smirked, "Yeah she probably will. And you deserve it for freaking me out like that."

"I only spoke the truth! Don't go wishing my death because of it!"

I sadly smiled up at the sky, "When you die...because the fact that we won't have to konso you, you'll automatically be a Soul Reaper full-time. You'll have to choose a squad and the Captain of that squad will have to figure out where you belong in said squad. Though it's also been said by the Head Captain that if you choose a squad without a Captain...The current Captain will vote and if we decide that you're responsible enough to handle it...you may become a Captain."

I shook my head, "It's not right...There are three Lieutenants that can't be promoted because the Head Captain is depending on you dying soon so that he'll know where your place is among us. Three Lieutenants waiting for _six _years now to know if they'll be a Captain or not."

I paused biting my lip, "Well six years human time. Only three in the Soul Society."

I could tell that he was staring at me, waiting for me to say more but I didn't have any more to say. He sounded unsure of himself when he spoke again, "It's nice to know...that the old guy wants me dead. You're right it isn't fair. If I don't die from some kind of accident I'll live for a lot longer. I mean...I'm only 21 I still haven't even decided what I want to do with my life. If I'm lucky I'll live nearly another 70 years. Of that overall would mean that the people in the Soul Society would have to wait 38 years to know if I'd be Captain. I don't think I'd want to be a Captain anyway. I'd have so many people's lives in my hands...I don't want to be the cause of anyone getting hurt."

There was an awkward silence before he sighed audibly, "Toushirou?"

I looked back down at him, "Hmm?"

"I'm sorry that I got so many of you guys hurt, the Captains I mean, when I was fighting Aizen and he told me...that I wouldn't hit him unless I hated him. I was fighting so no one would have to get hurt and some of you nearly died. So I'm sorry."

I gaped blankly at him then shook my head, "We all had a reason to be there someone or something to protect. You're acting like you dragged us into the fight with Aizen but in all reality we dragged you into it. It was our problem to begin with."

There was another awkward silence before Kurosaki jumped slightly and exclaimed, "Hey!"

I blinked because it startled me, "What?"

He grinned like a little kid who just won his first fight, "You didn't correct me."

I narrowed my eyebrows severely confused, "What are you talking about."

I genuinely couldn't think of anything I had needed to correct him on. What had he done in the past few minutes that was wrong? I searched my brain for an answer but couldn't find one until he finally answered me.

"I called you Toushirou and you didn't correct me."

I facepalmed, "Was that really all it was? Really?"

"It's a big deal! You've always corrected me and this time you didn't."

"I didn't see a point you've been ignoring me about calling me by title for years and I realized that you're going to keep calling me by my first name whether I like it or not so why waste my breath?"

He quietly laughed, "Yeah Of course that's what it is...Are you sure you're not just starting to like me a bit more?"

I raised an eyebrow at the sarcastic beginning of his words, "I'm positive." I told him that but I was thinking to myself that maybe he was right. Of course I'd never admit it.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad, him being my partner in crime for saving Karin. He wasn't a bad guy.

**Short Chapter I know I'm sorry guys. I just wanted to catch up with Toushirou and Ichigo :)**


	16. Plans in Action

**Karin POV**

I stared at the wall where Nnoitra had been holding me up eariler that day, not wanting to answer Ulquiorra question. Holding Grimmjow's jacket around me was slowly getting moe difficult because of the remaining ache in my fingers.

I still didn't want to think about how others would think different of me because of this incident. I couldn't protect myself and because of it Ichigo won't trust me to train to be a Soul Reaper. Toushirou will be stubborn and won't let me fight my own fights. Kisuke will insist that we need to go back to the basics of training...And these two...I didn't want to know how they would react.

I looked at my lap and realized that it was my favorite pajama top that Nnoitra had ripped. Just that fact had me wanting to cry for whatever reason. Maybe it was because I knew that I'd never get to buy another top like that...Maybe it was because Yuzu had bought it for me...Or maybe I was just overwhelmed by the situation. I really didn't know which it was.

I swallowed not wanting to show them anymore weakness than what they've already seen. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be able to protect myself and my family. I wanted to be recognized as someone who could go to the Soul Society freely and be let inside the gates. That was always my goal and now all I can think is that goal was caused by my subconscious knowing that I was in love with Toushirou all along.

I bit my thumb in thought of whether I should tell them or not. It could cause trouble and I wouldn't want that... Maybe tell them without saying his name? But wait I didn't know if I should tell them at all... Would I tell Toushirou when I saw him again? He would probably figure it out on his own.

"Karin Kurosaki."

I quickly looked towards the doorway to see Gin AGAIN... I sighed, "What is it now?" I used an accusing tone somehow knowing that he wouldn't care. And I was right. His grin didn't falter, his eyes didn't open, and he still spoke in a playful tone, "Aizen-sama wishes to see you."

I swallowed and shakily stood up noticing that both Grimmjow and Ulquiorra looked like they had been caught doing a crime. I stood still and stared at Gin with determined eyes, "Only if you don't tell." He cocked his head to the side, "Tell what Miss Kurosaki?" I scoffed, "Don't play dumb with me." I chuckled, "I have nothing to tell Miss. If he doesn't already know then there's no need to get two of his best fighters in trouble now is there."

I sighed and glanced at Grimmjow and Ulquiorra. They looked relieved by the fact that they weren't going to have to face Aizen. I smiled at the blue haired one farther in the room, "Don't look too relieved If he doesn't already know he'll figure it out...I'm not going out there without this jacket."

I then looked at Ulquiorra, "Don't do anything to give yoursef away. There's no way to figure it out for you unless you're careless."

He looked like he was calm on the outside but I could see anger in his eyes. Great while Ulquiorra was angry...Well Grimmjow wasn't hiding it very well how sick he looked about being found out.

I frowned and started shakily walking towards Gin. He led me down several confusing hallways and I struggled to keep up with his fast pace. I knew somehow that we weren't going to Aizen's "throne room" because I didn't think that there were this many hallways when I was led to my room that first time. I panted slightly from the exertion of having to nearly jog after Gin. Not to mention that I had tripped several times and fallen face first on the floor. I'd probably have a nosebleed if I fell again.

I managed to stutter out, "Wh-where are w-we going?"

My only answer was, "Like I said before to see Aizen-sama."

I winced at the pain that this exertion was causing the back of my head. I wasn't sure put it had probably started bleeding again. I was barely managing to cover my chest so it was a positive that we hadn't passed anyone yet.

I put a hand to my temple and tried to get it out of him again, "N-no I meant...wh-what room?"

He didn't answer for a long time and I thought that maybe he was ignoring me but then he said, "The dressing chamber."

Oh. My. Gosh. That sounded so silly at the moment and I ended up laughing...which caused me to cough...which caused me to slow down...which caused Gin to grab my arm so I would keep up...which hurt...a lot.

Wait why the dressing room? Wouldn't that be a place where you changed clothes...or got fitted for them? Oh no... I hoped Aizen didn't expect me to undress with him in there, because I seriously doubted that he'd be the one getting dressed.

We arrived in a large white room with two girl arrancars and Aizen inside. I instinctively held Grimmjow's jacket tighter around me. Aizen smirked and looked at Gin, "You are dismissed Gin." My eyes widened when Gin left the room, already uncomfortable in this new situation. No I couldn't show weakness if my plan was going to work.

I did my best to look bored by this, "I assume you're going to give me suitable clothes?"

He smirked, "That I am. I can't have a guest wearing no top and human bottoms." I was suprised that he didn't mention Grimmjow's jacket but I hid it and and responded with a raspy but nonchalant, "About time."

He looked over his shoulder and told the two girls to get to work. I nearly ran out when I realized that he wasn't going to leave the room. He smirked and walked to the side of the room looking somehow even more menacing when he leaned back against the wall. I snorted and walked to the middle of the room where the two girls pulled Grimmjow's jacket off my shoulders.

I immediately moved my arms to cover my chest and one of the girls looked at me in suprise. I forced a chuckle and slowly moved my arms, "Sorry. Reflexes you know." Chills ran down my back as I fought the desire to cover myself back up. This was even worse than what Nnoitra did. I could only hope that Aizen wasn't looking. Of course it was confirmed that he was when he said, " You'll have to wash up before you put you're new clothes on. A clean outfit doesn't work well with a dirty body.

My eye twitched but I somehow sounded like I didn't care that he was looking when I responded, "Excuse me for having blood on my back. Maybe if you could control your espada better then it wouldn't be there."

I could tell I was irritating him and that was scaring the hell out of me. If he snapped he'd do worse than Nnoitra did. I wanted to scream when one of the girls asked for my pants. I stared blankly at her and she laughed, "We only need your pants you can keep your undergarments."

I twitched slightly and removed my pants, embarrassedly handing them over. The other girl handed me Grimmjow's jacket back and said, "We're done measuring you're chest so you can cover back up if you want...after all this is a piece of suitable clothing considering it's not yours."

I nodded and actually put it on this time instead of holding it around me. It was so much easier to cover myself that way...But I felt ridiculous wearing only Grimmjow's jacket and a pair of panties.

Aizen spoke again after they had continued their measurements, "Yes I believe that is Grimmjow's is it not?" I turned my head towards him and smirked, "What about it?" He looked suprised for a second before smirking back at me and raising an eyebrow, "He seems to have taken a liking to you. A normal person wouldn't be able to get that off of him."

Time to put my plan in action. I looked in front of me instead of at him, "Yeah well I'm not any normal person am I? I mean you had reason for kidnapping me which makes me pretty valuable if I do say so myself."

I paused for dramatic effect, "Which is why I think it would benefit you more to have me on your side."

He seemed amused by the idea but he asked anyway, "How so?"

I smiled, "I know you kidnapped me so that you could kill me in front of Toushirou. I assume this is because you want him out of the way and emotionally damaged. But really don't you think it would damage his emotions more if his own best friend had turned against him without you having to do anything? To know that I chose his enemy over him?...My brother too would be pretty shaken by it."

He was silent for a long time and then sighed, "I can see how that would benefit me but I swear if you oppose me or get in my way I will kill you without a second thought."

I mentally jumped for joy but outwardly acted calm and said, "Agreed."

One of the girls shyly turned towards him, "Aizen-sama we've completed the measurements."

He smirked, "Alright. One of you go get Gin the other one get the fabric to make the clothing with."

They did as said and both left the room in opposite directions leaving me alone with Aizen.

I tried to act nonchalant about it and crossed my arm and tapped my foot impatiently, looking at the door I came in. Aizen somehow ended up right in front of me without me noticing, "Because of our agreement you'll be given a better room within the week. Not as good as the espadas' rooms but close. The point is that it will have more than just a bed."

I waved my hand in front of his face, "Yeah yeah."

He snorted, "You're a lot braver than your brother even he was scared of me."

I snorted back at him, "My brother wasn't scared of you or he wouldn't have been able to seal you away."

He crossed his arms, "Didn't do a very good job with that though, or I wouldn't be here."

"You've got a point."

In all reality I knew how terrified my brother was when he fought Aizen. I knew that Ichigo was just as scared of him as I was. I guess I'm just doing a better job of hiding it. I looked at him in the corner of my eye, "How did you get out in the first place?"

He narrowed his eyebrows, "I told you in your dreams."

"I didn't get the full sentences."

"I was using Hitsugaya's spiritual pressure to break the seal. When he jumped after you on that cliff he flared his spiritual pressure strong enough for me to use it. And he was hurt so it was easy to pull energy from him. The seal your brother used could only be broken from the outside but there was a crack in the seal in the first place so that's how I detected his spiritual pressure."

Everything is my fault isn't it. That's just great.

Gin walked in moments later with the girl arrancar trailing behind him. As soon as she entered the room she ran out the the opposite door in the same direction as the other girl. I Followed Gin when he walked out leading me back down the hallways and leaving Aizen behind. I realized once we walked down about four hallways that they hadn't given me my pants back...

I hope nobody is walking down these hallways besides me and Gin...

**Poor Karin being harrassed so often. And if things are still the same then there are still two BOY espada in her room...I am so sadistic...Review please!**


	17. Fooling No One

**Karin POV**

Of course because I was without any pants I wasn't paying attention nto anything Gin had said so when he asked me what I thought about something I was totally lost, "I'm sorry what?"

He chuckled at me, "I asked you what you thought about being here. I know that you know you're here to be killed but you also don't seem to be traumatically affected by being here. Well other than physical injuries..."

I sighed and thought it through. What did I think aboout being here? I wanted to go home that's for sure...but at the same time I'm afraid of dying I'm not afraid of this place in general. Maybe because I made friends with Grimmjow and Ulquiorra. I had to make sure they got out of here alive. I wasn't going to leave them behind.

They're a lot kinder than I would've expected and just that kindness in a place so unexpected had made them important to me. Ichigo would think I was crazy...and the Soul Society would never let me in for helping the enemy. Which meant my training was for nothing. I really believe that they've taken Toushirou's place as my best friend...not that Toushirou is less than that it's just that I've come to think of him as much more.

I held Grimmjow's jacket tighter around me and attempted to answer, "I honestly don't know. I don't hate it here but I don't want to stay either." My voice cracked at the end of the sentence. I had almost forgotten that I had had troubles speaking earlier. Of course that was only because I had to act strong in front of Aizen to seal the deal.

I stared blankly forward, only subconsciously following Gin's path. What if the plan didn't work? What if I ended up dying anyway? Would Toushirou die too like he said before? Would I forget my family and friends? Yuzu, Ichigo, Dad, Toushirou, my soccer team, Rangiku, Rukia...all of them gone from my memories forever. I would never get to tell Toushirou I love him. I would never eat Yuzu's cooking again or go shopping with her or give her sisterly support. I would lose my other half. Ichi-nii...He's so overprotective but I still love him. I would never get to make fun of his stupidity again or...see him finally ask Rukia out...or go to college...

I let out a shaky breath. I didn't even want to think about Dad. His usual goofy attitude would change to what it was righ after Mom died wouldn't it. He'd be serious about things which would only enhance how wrong everything was. I didn't want any of them to go through my death. I had to live.

"Miss?"

I looked up at Gin who was still walking in front of me, "What is it?" He paused before answering, "Your spiritual pressure was flaring. I was just making sure you were okay."

I blushed and tried my best to hide my spiritual pressure, "I'm fine. I was just lost in thought. I stopped thinking about keeping my spiritual pressure under control. Sorry about that." He chuckled, "There's no need to apologize. It may 'ave attracted some attention though."

I blushed and looked down at myself. Yep still only Grimmjow's jacket and a pair of panties. My eyes widenedas I sped up my pace, "Then lead me back to my room quicker."

"It's only two halls away."

I sighed in relief, "Good...I'm assuming Aizen's not going to give me a pair of pants until my whole new outfit is made." I could barely see the nod that I got in response. I shook my head, I felt like one of the slutty girls who wore really short shorts and lowcut tanktops...In all reality that's actually more clothes than I had on at the moment.

We got back to my room and I walked inside. Thankfully it wasn't as dark was it was before I left. Unthankfully my two espada friends were still inside. I blushed and walked to my bed to sit down. I got myself seated and then glared at them, "What the hell are you still doing here?"

Ulquiorra looked away from me and Grimmjow very bluntly said, "What the hell are you doing without any pants on?" I embarrassedly crossed my arms, "I had to measured for a new outfit and they didn't give my pants back when they were done. It's as simple as that."

"I thought you were going to see that bastard Aizen."

I took a deep breath, "I did. He was in the room I was being measured in. I swear it's not comfortable walking down hallways in just this jacket and my underwear." He blushed and looked in the opposite way of Ulquiorra, "Yeah well it's not comfortable for me to even look at you when your like that."

"What do you mean?"

"I think you know what I mean."

My eye twitched and my entire face turned red. I looked helplessly at Ulquiorra. His face looked calm and composed but his eyes looked just as embarrassed as I felt.

I nervously laughed and changed the subject, "Anyway...I made a deal with Aizen. I'm going to work for him...Well that's what he thinks mp plan so far is when Toushirou gets here I'm supposed to fight him so when I'm up close to him I'm going to tell him that I'm still on his side and then attempt to run. That's where you two come in. Since I'm not a Soul Reaper I can't flash step so one of you will have to carry me away from here. Once we get far enough away the other can open one of those weird gate things that lead to the living world. And poof we've escaped!"

Ulquiorra looked at me like I was stupid, "Just attempting to run won't get you anywhere. Aizen his faster than everybody here. He'll kill you in an instant."

"I can almost guarantee that Toushirou won't be alone when he gets here. In fact I'm positive that my brother will be with him which gives us a good chance. I mean Ichigo sealed him away once right. He should be able to subdue him. And even if my brother is stupid sometimes. Toushirou's not he'll get them out of there if there's a sign that they won't win...Maybe..."

Grimmjow smirked at me, "It might work but there's no guarantees. If we can get the other espadas to help then it probably will. I think the only one that doesn't want Aizen gone is Nnoritra." I shivered at the mention of his name and looked down. I didn't want to have these damn flashbacks about what happened. I wanted to go home just as I was when I got here. I should've known that wasn't possible.

I squeezed my eyes shut and looked at my lap finally answering Grimmjow, "That would b-be good." Damn my stuttering. They're going to figure it out now. I know they will. "Karin did..."

"SHUT UP!"

I shook my head, "Don't say it. Just don't say it."

I was shaking and I hated myself for it. I hated myself for being so weak.

I was fighting back tears when I felt arms around me and something solid hit my forehead. And considering it was a clothed solid it meant it was Ulquiorra. I was suprsied for a moment before the tears started falling. Why does this have to affect me so much. He didn't even get very far with it so why is it bothering me so much? It's not fair. It should have never happened. I should've been able to protect myself. I shouldn't have lost control of myself and lunged at him.

I could have prevented this. How can I ever expect to be able to protect Yuzu or anybody else if I can't even protect myself? How could I even be trusted with someone else's life?

Most of the tears were falling into my lap. Each drop was a harsh reminder of everything that had happened. I realized that when I had thought in the dressing room that Aizen staring at me was worse than what Nnoritra did I was trying to find something worse so that I could think about that instead. And almost telling Grimmjow and Ulquiorra before that was a way to make it seem like I wasn't bothered by it.

But I wasn't fooling anyone. I can't even fool myself.

I fell asleep that night crying and in Ulquiorra's arms. I was only glad that I didn't dream because I know they wouldn't be dreams they'd be nightmares.

**Aww poor Karin I feel bad for being sadistic now...I can't reverse that though...Review~!**


	18. Getting better or worse?

When I woke up I had a massive headache. I wasn't sure whether it was from my head being possibly busted or because I was crying the night before. I was sleeping in the fetal position which was just another way to know something was bothering me.

I may have been the only one in my bed but I wasn't alone.

Both Grimmjow and Ulquiorra were asleep in the floor. Ulquiorra was closer to my bed and Grimmjow was nearly all the way across the room. I hadn't really thoght about it but it had to be hard to get comfortable when you're an arraancar or espada. I mean your mask wouldn't be too comfortable to sleep on would it?

What was I even thinking about when I woke up? I don't remember anymore; I swear I have the attention span of a squirrel. I sighed and tried to get out of my bed without stepping on Ulquiorra. I failed miserably and ended up crashing to the floor, making my headache about a billion times worse.

I wonder if they have any kind of medicine I can take to help the pain? I pushed myself into a sitting position and looked back at Ulquiorra. He must be a heavy sleeper considering he didn't even look like he had flinched.

I shivered at the cold temperature in the room and tried to envelop my body in Grimmjow's jacket. This was very difficult to do because of the size of the jacket.

I stood up again and headed towards the door. I knew I wasn't supposed to leave my room without an escort but right now it really didn't matter to me if I was caught...I could just tell anyone who finds me that I'm on their side and I wanted to know my way around.

Maybe I can find someone to be tour-guide...

* * *

><p>After I walked about 20 hallways I realized this wasn't really an option. There was literally no one in the hallways. Maybe I should've woken Grimmjow and Ulquiorra up. Too late now I didn't really know where I am...Great.<p>

I sighed. Why was it so damn cold in the hallways? Did Aizen not know what a heater was? Well I guess it's not really my problem is it? My headache was now only a dull pain in the back of my head.

Was what I was doing strong?

Was it foolish?

And then it hit me. The reason I had enough courage to walk these hallways alone. It wasn't because I had already been through too much. It wasn't because I was too dazed to think. It was because...

I had given up.

I had lost hope that I was ever leaving this place. I had a plan, yes, but I didn't believe it would work. I _knew_ it wouldn't work. It was just something to keep sanity in sight,because without some kind of hope all that would be left was misery...Not that I wasn't miserable anyway.

When I was lost in thought a door about 4 feet in front of me and to my left slammed open and I nearly jumped out of my skin. The door had been forced open that was clear from all wood shavings and dust that went flying. I couldn't see who opened the door though.

Before the dust cleared I was dragged backwards. I already knew the one dragging me was Aizen by the chill of fear that went down my spine. Right before my sight of the door was obscured by the wall I caught a glimpse of orange...and my brother's scowling face.

I immediately screamed out, "Ichi-nii," without thinking and had a hand clapped over my mouth. I heard the words, "Good job, lure them into their deaths." I shivered again.

My mind raced. Them? I had only seen Ichigo. Who else was here. My heart jumped at the thought that it might be Toushirou. I mean that's who Aizen was waiting for right? My head really hurt now the thinking adding to my headache.

Aizen pushed me into what seemed to be a bathroom, threw a uniform at me and said, "Get cleaned up it will take them a while to get this far."

My heart dropped at the thought that I would be in this cursed place any longer but I did what he said. After closed the door I turned around to the shower behind me. At least I knew that even the bad guys had the option of hygiene...

I turned the water on and set my uniform down on the sink. Before I started undressing I checked the door for a lock. There wasn't one...

I sighed and started stripping off my clothes and stepped in to the warm water that was cascading from the shower head. I looked down, the water at my feet had turned a brownish-red color. I ran my hand through the hair at the back of my head. It was matted and once I got my hand through it I looked at my hand as well. It also had the bloody water on it.

So he really did bust my head open...

I tried not to think about it as I washed my hair, but the shampoo burned the place where I had been bleeding. After I had washed myself up I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off with a black towel. I wrapped another towel around my head and grabbed the uniform.

I noticed that the uniform had a clean bra and pair of underwear with it as well. I was thankful but I was also sure that they weren't there when I had come into the bathroom. Which meant someone had come inside to put them there. I just couldn't get any privacy.

I got dressed and grabbed someone's hairbrush off the sink gently brushing through my tangled hair. I realized once I had brushed the tangles out that my hair had grown almost two inches since I had been kidnapped...

My hair grew slowly...

How long had I been here?

I had a feeling that because so many days were the same I had counted them all as one. Which meant I had been here for a long time...and that scared the hell out of me.

I realized with dismay that there wasn't a toothbrush I could use and left the room. As soon as I opened the door I was grabbed by the wrist and pulled away again. This time I could actually see Aizen and for some reason I wasn't as scared. Sure he still scared me, but now I could actually see the danger.

He led me down several hallways and, continuing with his theme, pushed me into another room. This room appeared to be a bedroom and my first thoughts were the worst. He didn't come inside though, instead he stood in the door way.

He glared at me, "This is your new room. The only time you are to leave it is when I summon you. Remember you are on my side and if you disobey my orders I will kill you. Don't worry about having to fight your brother and the others. It will take them a long time to get through all the forces...They may not even suvive that much especially since the espada have been training."

And with that he closed the door and I was left alone in a much bigger bedroom than before. There was color in this room...The bed had white sheet but otherwise was red. There was a dresser in the corner, with a lamp and a book on it. There was a bathroom connected with this room, which meant I wouldn't have to wait for Ulquiorra or Grimmjow to lead me to the bathroom everyday.

I took interest in the book. Upon closer inspection I saw it was a journal, but I didn't have a pencil. I looked around some more hoping I would find one. On a bedside table there was two neatly sharpen and ready to go.

I picked up one and started writing what I had experienced so ffar in this hell-hole. Of course it wasn't a smart idea to include everything but I needed to vent...So I did.

**Oh my Gosh guys! Highschool is rough. Wow english class is difficult. I'm sorry this took so long but I'm glad I'm back to writing I hope you guys like it remember to review! **


	19. Feeling Better and Knowing Rumi

It had been almost a month since Aizen gave me a new room. I had 26 entries in my journal other than the first one, which had explained the whole mess I was in anyway. Little varied in these entries. I was always wondering where Ichigo was and who he had brought with him.

The only contact with the people outside my room had been with:

1. Gin, when he visits to "Teach me the way of the sword" because they thought that even though I was siding with them that I would be useless. I knew otherwise, my friends wouldn't hurt me.

2. Ulquiorra, he always visited with the excuse of delivering food even though I now had a sort of maid to do that. Grimmjow never came with him though. Ulquiorra siad it was because Grimmjow was sent to the frontlines to fight my brother. That scared me because if Ichigo didn't learn that Grimm was on our side, they would kill each other.

And 3. Said maid in the last paragraph. She was an arrancar, like everybody else but, well she wasn't very good with fights or violence. Her name was Rumi...she reminded me a lot of Yuzu. She made me remember that Hollows were just wholes that weren't sent to the Soul Society. And arrancar were just modified hollows...with less mask and a zanpakuto. Rumi never carried a zanpakuto around, and she seemed to be afraid of loud noises and disapproval. It upset her that Ulquiorra brought me food because she felt like she wasn't being trusted with her job.

* * *

><p>I had grown fond of Rumi, maybe because she seemed so helpless, or because she reminded me of Yuzu. I didn't know why but she was another friend that I wasn't going to leave behind. Of course she didn't know my plan of escape, she would tell Aizen because that was her job. She was eager to have someone's approval, like a little kid whose parents never told them "Good job." That made me wonder...what were all my friends here and in the Soul Society treated like in life. What did they look like? How old were they when they died?<p>

I remembered that Rangiku had told me when I was younger that the reason Toushirou and Rukia were so short was because they had died young. What were the possible causes of death for young children? Sickness, drowning, suffocating, a hit to the head, there were too many to count and I always tried to stay away from thoughts like abuse and suicide. I didn't want to think about my friends having to go through that.

Toushirou wasn't short anymore, though. He was only a head shorter than my brother which was saying something especially for Toushirou. Ichigo was 21 and nearly six feet tall. I only came up to his mid-chest. But then again I hadn't gotten any taller than when I had turned 14...I was only 5' 1"...

Which made me the one who got teased about her height at school. Yuzu would too if she wasn't a cheerleader. She was shorter than me, not by much but still shorter. Rumi was shorter than me too, only a little shorter than Yuzu. I didn't know why she reminded me of Yuzu so much though.

Sure they were both shy, and nearly the same height but that's where similarities ended. Yuzu was blonde like our Mom and I suppose Ichigo but Rumi had black hair, sort of like mine except in the light it looked sort of blue. Yuzu had brown eyes and Rumi had big bright blue ones. Yuzu loved strawberries and sweet fruits. Rumi liked sour things like lemons and limes. Yuzu had confidence in herself and Rumi needed another's approval to feel good about herself. Yuzu was still living and Rumi had part of a hollow mask covering her right cheek.

But still I had an attachment to her like I had to Yuzu. The sisterly feeling that I had known all of my life. The twins' bond that can never be broken. I really missed Yuzu. I even missed Dad and his crazy antics. But even more than that I missed my Mom.

I wished everything would go back to normal before evil dead people decided to kidnap me. Before Ichigo started leaving home and never coming back. But at the same time I wouldn't trade all the friends I had made for anything.

I loved my friends and I was starting to see the way they fought in battle. I'd be willing to give up my life if it meant rescuing my family and friends. Of course I didn't want to die and would do anything to keep myself alive as well.

That journal had cheered me up a lot. True it wasn't like trusting a friend with all the information but it helped. I wasn't nearly as depressed as before.

My long thought rant was interrupted as my door slowly opened and Rumi came in walking backwards carrying a tray of food. If one thing hadn't improved it was the food. Definitely prisoner's food. I stood up of my bed smiling, "You need help with that?" She made a face similar to a toddler's pout, "No."

I laughed at her and took the tray away from her. No offense to her but she was pretty clumsy and I didn't want food on the floor. She made fists at her side and stomped her foot, "Hey!"

I set the tray down on my bed and turned around to face her again, "I see you beat Ulquiorra to the punch." She crossed her arms at me, "He told me to get the food. Said he'd be late because of a meeting." I shook my head and sighed, "Okay."

I had noticed, a while back, that Rumi's uniform was different than everybody else's. It was still white and black and the same material as my own but it was shaped like what I imagined a princess would wear in the summer. It had puffy sleeves and had a V-neck that showed the top of her cleavage (which bothered me), it also had a puffed out skirt that came down to just above he knees. You could see the stiff material that made it puff out at the bottom of the skirt. I also noticed she almost never wore shoes. I had asked her if all the girls who also had her job wore that uniform and she replied with, "This is my uniform and my uniform only." Which only made me wonder why it was so different.

Ulquiorra treated her like a baby which had got on my nerves. I once told him to stop treating her like she was a little and he had responded with, "If I do that I'd be in trouble with Aizen."

Rumi just confused me. Her attitude, her uniform, the way she was treated by others, she was like a spoiled little girl that didn't know how spoiled she was. I thought of her as a sister anyway. I smiled at her and she looked away. She walked toward my bed and sat down on it, taking a look around the room from there. I rolled my eyes at her, "What are you doing?"

She smiled, "I wanted to know if it still felt different sitting up here than standing." I blinked, "Still? I haven't seen you do this before," I said, making a confused face. She stretched and yawned, "This was my room before you got moved here. There used to be more furniture in here. It was moved to my new room when you were in the shower.

"When I...was in the shower?" She looked up at me, "I brought you undergarments don't you remember?"

I shook my head, "I was in a daze the whole time I was in the shower."

She snorted, "Well you also used my hairbrush."

I looked at the ceiling, "I was wondering whose brush that was."

She laughed, "Dad said that you could be my friend since I'm only allowed in four rooms of the house."

My eyebrows shot up, "Dad?"

She looked confused, "I thought you knew...Well, he's not actually my dad but he's close. I'm just an arrancar he found and took in, in hopes of more fighting power. But I'm not good at fighting and I apparently look like someone he used to know so he treats me as his daughter and I treat him as my father. I don't use his last name though Rumi Aizen sounds weird. My last name is much prettier."

I wanted to pass out. I should've known...I gulped, "What is your last name?"

"Hinamori."

And then I really did pass out...

**There's only like 2-3 chapters left guys...This is a day late but my cousin is visiting sooo...Anyway review! By the way just saying if any of you ever want to talk to me or ask me a question PM me. I try my best to respond to them. I also read all your reviews and love them all. They mean a lot to me guys...XD**


	20. Time

When I woke up Rumi was standing over me with a concerned face. Ulquiorra was standing beside her with his arms crossed and a somewhat amused glint in his eyes. I immediately started wondering why I was in the floor.

And then I remembered.

Rumi's last name. Her last name is Hinamori. I was so confused on what that meant. I seriously doubted she was the Momo that Toushirou talked so fondly about. She had said that Aizen had found her and taken her in. But was that true? Or was it was it something she had been told to believe?

I just didn't know what was going on anymore. I sat up with a hand to my forehead. Rumi jumped in a suprised fashion and fell to her knees in front of me, "Are you okay? Do you need water? Should I go get ice from the kitchen or-"

Ulquiorra interrupted her, "Calm down. She's probably fine."

I started to agree with him but then thought of something, "No...Actually ice would be nice, thanks Rumi."

Rumi gave a triumphant grin towards Ulquiorra and ran out of the room. Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow at me and I sighed, "I'm fine. She's just freaking me out a bit."

I pushed myself off the ground and instead sat on the bed. He chose to roam around the room like he had never been inside, "She told you then?"

I closed my eyes in frustration, "She confused the hell out of me. I mean Hinamori? What is her relation to Momo Hinamori?"

Ulquiorra flattened his hand overtop of my journal, "I'm not really sure. Aizen took a liking to her because of their similar appearance." There was a long pause and he opened my journal flipping through the pages, "What is this?"

I dashed across the room and slammed the pages shut, "It's my journal leave it alone."

He held up his hands in a defensive motion. I glared at him and walked slowly backwards towards the bed. Once I got back to the bed he put his hands down, "I don't understand why I'm not allowed to see it. I've been here the whole time you've been here so there's not much that I don't know about."

I snorted, "You don't know my thoughts throughout the time I was here. And besides that it starts before I got kidnapped, thank you very much."

He smirked and shook his head. I rolled my eyes, "How did the meeting go?"

He looked shocked for a moment then looked away, "It was about Grimmjow's failure in battle against your brother."

I blinked, "Failure? You don't mean?"

Ulquiorra looked uncomfortable about the situation, "I stepped in like I used to the first time we served Aizen. He's been asleep since then...because we don't have good medical supplies. That's why Inoue was kidnapped before. Your brother not that good of a fighter still. It wasn't that hard to get away without being injured. He's not so lucky he took a beating from Grimmjow and afterwards from me."

"Ulquiorra!"

His gaze returned to me with wide eyes, "Relax, he's better off than the shape he put Grimmjow in. Besides that he's not alone he just has to find one of his friends that can heal him."

"One? So he brought a group?"

Ulquiorra looked confused, "At first it was just him and Captain Hitsugaya. Now it's a group of like eleven."

I could tell I was blushing immediately after he said Toushirou's title. But why would Toushirou be stupid enough to rush into battle without a plan? I knew that if he arrived at the same time as Ichigo, there was no plan.

I blinked and thought some of Ulquiorra's previous statements over, "You said my brother wasn't a good fighter but wasn't he the one who killed you that first time?"

Ulquiorra nodded.

I furrowed my eyebrows together trying to think about more on the subject. Something occured to me but I couldn't remember exact details, "Orihime said something about it but I can't remember what she said. I remember her saying something though because she was visiting my house and she waited until Ichigo left the room to say it because she was afraid it would upset him. It was something about fear..."

I was thinking it over when Ulquiorra's voice interrupted my thoughts, "Before I died I asked her if she was afraid of me, if that's what you're talking about."

I shook my head, "No. I know that story. It's something else she said like...Oh! I remember! She said she was more afraid of Ichigo when you two were fighting than she was of you."

I finally looked back at him and noticed he was sitting in the floor in front of my dresser looked very confused, "Wait. Isn't she in love with Ichigo?" I sighed, "Yeah and I wish she'd get the hell over him because he's got a huge ass crush on Rukia."

His look changed from confused back to stoic, "But is that going to go anywhere? I mean Rukia and Ichigo."

I put a hand to my forehead, "Not if he doesn't ask her out. But otherwise yes it's going to go somewhere."

I saw a strange glint in Ulquiorra's eyes that looked a lot like concern. That confused me because I knew he didn't like Ichigo. Why would he be concerned. Before I had time to ask him why the door opened and Rumi came in with a bag of ice, "Sorry, it took so long! I got lost and that's weird because I was just in the kitchen this morning I should've known the way."

I smiled and took the ice from her, "Thank you Rumi. I was thinking of getting to sleep a little earlier than usual so I'm sorry but you'll have to leave again."

She glanced over at Ulquiorra and got a mischeivious glint in her eyes, "Won't he have to leave too?"

I knew what she was thinking and it wasn't something I wanted even entering her mind. I blushed and nodded, "Yes we were just talking about it." I thought of something I needed to tell him though and tried to think my way into him staying for a little longer without it looking suspicious. Well I guess it already looked suspicious with me blushing and all, "I haven't eaten yet though and he was going to take my tray once I was done."

Thankfully the tray of food Rumi had brought me was still on the bed beside me. Rumi glanced at the tray, then at Ulquiorra, and finally at me. She smiled at turned for the door saying goodbye before she left again.

I looked at Ulquiorra, "I'm not sure if you noticed but she just came to the completely wrong conclusion."

He nodded, "I noticed."

I picked up my tray of food, "I really don't want to eat this though."

He stood up, "Then why am I really here?"

I stood up and started walking towards the bathroom with my tray, "Hold on a second."

I dumped the contents on the tray in the toilet and flushed it. I came back and gave him the tray. But before he could take it completely from me I whispered, "When we escape...we have to take Rumi with us."

"What!?"

"We have to, she doesn't deserve to be kept here by Aizen. She thinks she's got a good life but it won't be that way once Aizen is gone again."

He sighed, "Okay."

I smiled and let go of the tray, "Tell Grimm I said hello if you get the chance."

He nodded and set off for the door with the tray. Once he left I set the bag of ice I now possessed on my pillow and picked up my journal.

I definitely had something new to write about.

But before I could open the pages the door slammed open and Aizen stepped in my room.

I set the journal down beside me and calmly looked at him, "What is it?"

He grabbed my wrist and yanked me out of my room and down the hallways. He grip tightened the farther we went and right when I thought for sure my wrist would break he stopped and let go of me.

Aizen turned around to face me and pointed to a door to my right, "It's time to prove that you're on my side."

Oh no...

**Okay next chapter is the last one I have the ending already planned out and everything! Oh God the last chapter is going to KILL me to write. Too many details! Okay guys in case you haven't noticed on my profile page it explains that fanfictions will be updated every Monday Wednesday Friday and Saturday. This is a day late...My other in-progress story will be updated twice tomorrow because I didn't update Friday...This means that the last chapter will go up Wednesday...Don't forget to review!**


	21. Last Chapter

I looked to the door to my right, I was scared to death about what I was going to face inside.

Aizen pushed the sliver and blue hilt of the sword that I had been using for practice into my hands and frowned, "I'll be watching." I nodded making not to show my fear to him. I fastened the sword inside my belt-loops on the uniform. I opened the door with confidence and stepped inside.

Aizen stepped in behind me and closed the door but when I looked back he was gone and I was alone again. I couldn't even see the door anymore, it blended in with the sand like colored wall. I looked down and inspected the ground it was also sand like.

I started slowly walking forward inspecting the room as I went. Other than the walls and the ground the room looked mostly like a garden. Lush green trees grew here and there scattering the landscape, flowers and bushes grew around them. The sweet smell of springtime in Karakura wafted to me like the scent of Yuzu's home-baked pies.

The ceiling of the room was a dark blue like the night sky I had grown so fond of. I could have stayed in the room for as long as I lived and still be comfortable. I admiration of the landscape was interrupted by a loud shout which made birds fly from the trees, "Where the hell are we?! We're going in circles!"

I mentally laughed at my brother's frustration. I felt the hilt of the blade at my waist as I thought about what I'd have to do. Ulquiorra said a group of eleven. Who were those eleven? Who was with Ichigo? A lot of the Soul Society wouldn't think twice about killing me if I showed resistance to them. I wondered where Aizen had gone. And who was watching me with him. I thought of maybe calling out so they would find me and it would make this so much faster.

No. I had to think of this as an actual battle and plan it out as I would if I were actually fighting against them. My first strategy would be to sneak up on them. How did I get myself stuck in this mess again? My heart was fluttering and my stomach felt like it was going to explode. I honestly had never been that nervous before.

What if it was Toushirou with Ichigo? It most likely was. Aizen was out to get Toushirou after all. I didn't know if I could keep up my act if I saw him though. Everything was so different now. Even if I hadn't been kidnapped I wouldn't be able to look him in the eyes anymore, being in love with your best friend was pretty difficult.

I realized I had stopped walking when I snapped out of thought. The ground had turned to grass and a sea of purple flowers. I had walked a long way. Maybe too long...

I sighed in frustration and prepared myself for a complete turnaround. Right before I turned I saw orange coming through the jungle like trees toward. Ichigo came into the clearing first. Then Rukia. And lastly Toushirou. They all stopped and stared wide eyed at me, I'm sure I looked just as shocked.

Ichigo started to take a step forward but Rukia stopped him, "Wait. Don't you think it's a bit weird that she has a weapon. I don't think they'd give her a weapon if she was the real Karin."

I glanced at the hilt of my sword, maybe I had already screwed up the plan. They didn't even think it was actually me. Great just great. I was so dead for this.

"Guys really? I don't think a fake Karin would've been through the crap I've been through."

Ichigo looked down at Rukia, "Look I think it's her. She's my sister."

Rukia sighed. Ichigo started walking towards me like he wanted a hug. My heart beat frantically as I realized this is where I had to act. I grabbed the hilt at my waist and rapidly swung it out of the sheath and at Ichigo.

Rukia and Toushirou both grabbed the hilts of their zanpakutos. Rukia muttered a soft, "I told you so."

It made me smile. I twisted the smile to look demented, "I said I was Karin I didn't say I was on your side. You ask Aizen. I am the real Karin...I just switched sides." They all looked bewildered. Like they didn't know what to do now. I remembered Keisuke's first lesson, "Stay calm."

I did by best to follow this rule. I was pretty difficult when I was facing off against my friends.

Ichigo squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again. I made sure to make it look like I was actually against them, "When you got here I shouted for you. I was right there but did you see me? No. There's no question about why I switched sides. I don't even know how long I've been here I just know that I made my mind up a long time ago."

Rukia charged forward and swung her sword toward me. I easily blocked it with my own. She was the only one I had to worry about. I didn't think the other two would hurt me. She looked angry, "You're not Karin. Karin wouldn't mess with our emotions like this."

I rested my blade on my shoulder, "If you'd been through _half_ the crap I've been through you'd understand."

She swung again and I stepped away. She shouted at me now, "I don't understand it. Why would you switch to the side that put you through the crap?!"

I snorted, "Being a pawn in their little game isn't as bad as being their prisoner. At least as a pawn only people who have permission to can enter your room. That's not saying the same for being a prisoner."

They didn't seem to catch the drift, and I was glad for that I didn't even want to hint at it myself. Rukia looked like she was about to cry. I sighed and pointed my blade towards her, "Are you really going to cry over this? I was looking forward to a fight."

She looked down and I saw the tears running down her face and as she threw herself at time after time. It was a wonder she got put on so many missions. I could easily block her. I wasn't sure whose teachings I was using to block the hits: Keisuke or Gin?

One of her hits that I blocked made my wrist pop very loudly and painfully. I knew they saw me wince. The more hits I blocked the more my wrist hurt. I knew I couldn't block much longer without breaking it, so I slammed my weight into my sword and disarmed her making her zanpakuto land farther back into the forest.

Rukia scrambled backwards tears still falling down her face. I was rubbing my wrist with concern when my sword was hit with a another weight. I looked up into turquoise eyes and immediately shouted, "Toushirou! What the hell!"

He winced at his name and jumped back from me in an offensive stance. I blinked. Fighting Toushirou...how nice.

He looked like he was about to move but I moved first, on instinct. I rammed my elbow into his stomach and then swung my sword toward his face. He easily blocked the sword but had been hit pretty hard by my elbow. I hadn't even meant to hurt him.

It was the same fight as it was with Rukia. None of them wanted to hurt me but they had to fight if I was going to be persistent like I was.

I remembered the plan halfway through my fight with Toushirou. I slammed by body forward so that I was close and said, "This is..."

About thirty swings at each other I got did it again and said, "just an..."

The last time I did it I found myself choking out the word, "act."

I was dragged backwards with a mighty and painful jerk from my chest. I dropped the sword and it landed softly in the flowers. I looked down very slowly and shocked. I had a zanpakuto rammed through my chest and sticking out my front. It was suddenly jerked backward and out of me.

My knees hit the ground before the rest of me. I coughed and spluttered up blood watching it stain the purple flowers. My vision was going black at the edges and I felt sleepy. I knew what was happening. I was dying.

I was positive of it when I felt a foot slam into my back and Aizen's voice echoed in my ears, "You should have done your job better."

I ached. Everything about me hurt like hell. My fist was pulling pulling up grass in front of my face...until it relaxed and I slowly closed my eyes. I didn't want to that's why this was called murder.

I don't know how long I sat alone in the darkness of death before I reappeared as a whole. I realized when I opened my eyes back to the field of purple flowers that Ulquiorra had run in right before Ichigo had a chance to attack Aizen.

"Aizen-sama! The espada are rioting against us! We're going to lose everyone with without your help."

Aizen looked pissed off that his minions were rioting against him but he turned and left anyway. Ulquiorra's eyes traveled from my dead body to me as a whole.

I still felt sleepy because everything had happened so quickly. It was clear of that when my first action as a whole was looking at Ulquiorra and saying, "I'm sorry."

He kept a straight face but his eyes looked like they were saying "You stupid girl." Then his eyes took over a confused look. It took me a while to figure out why. He could only take one of the two without help: Injured Grimmjow or Resistant Rumi.

He would have to choose. Ichigo pointed his already drawn blade toward Ulquiorra like he was protecting me from him. I knew he was about to swing so I sprung to my feet but fell back down on my wobbly legs, "Don't do it Ichi-nii."

He looked at me- suprised- but sheathed his sword.

I hadn't realized Toushirou was right in front of me until he said, "Look up at me.'"

I sleepily looked up and the hilt of Hyourinmaru was pressed to my forehead and I started sinking in a blue light like I had seen before.

The last thing I saw was the purple flowers.

**Okay guys. I've had fun with this story nut this is the last chapter. There will most likely be a sequel to it but for that I need your guys opinions. I want every one of you to review this last chapter and tell me how you liked this story. Goodbye for now I will see you again.**


	22. ALERT SEQUEL:PLEASE READ

_**Anyone of you guys still tuned into this story I'm just letting you know that the sequel will be up in about two hours!**_


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